events from the past....

in a nutshell--theres this friend of my parents in hospital dying and he wanted to talk to me about events from the past and how he wanted to apologize for these events-- these events were he had sex with me--its not that I dont recall the sex because I do--and before he and I did things I had been active with others so I just thought he was just another cock in my hole--anyhow my mom heard what he was saying so now the holidays was totally fucked up a lot of drama and I dont know now what to do-- anyone want more details as to what happened and so on message me as I could really use some input on this

I think you are saying that he talked to you and apologized for what happened in the past. (Am I getting that right? Or does he want to talk to you and you are deciding whether to go to him?)

I don't need any more details on the events of the past, but just a little more clarification on what is happening right now that you need input on. It sounds like your mother is upset on learning about something she was unaware of. Is she upset at you for something? Is that the problem, or is it something else.

Sorry your holiday got wrapped around this totally unrelated issue.

If you are still going to see the guy in the hospital, the most loving thing you can do is to hear what he has to say. From there, if this is something he feels guilty for, but it doesn't hurt you emotionally, by all means give him the grace to release his concern and let him know that you are OK and unharmed.

If you are still hurt by what happened, then you can talk about that or just thank him for his apology and leave and process this on your own.

Of course, you don't have to do anything - you owe him nothing. It's your choice. I wasn't in your situation and don't know the details or how you feel about them.

I only know what I've just read so I might get this completely wrong but here goes.
Your sex life is private, your friend's sex life is private. If mom has found out things that she was never meant to know, she cannot unknow what she now knows but the decent thing is keep a lid on it out of respect for a dying man. Making a scene out of priveliged information is to my mind disgraceful. It's easy enough for me to keep the family at arms length when they are out of order but you might be close knit and find that too difficult. When it comes to smoothing things back over with the folks, you have, at least I hope you will have, many long years to do that. With your friend in hospital you don't have that long, if you want to make peace with him you have to do it soon while you still can. The family can wait.
It is your decision, nobody else's, certainly not mine, whether you should go to the hospital or not. It may be easier than you might expect. What you say will not be important, all he needs is a listening ear, he knows you can't change the past. Everyone has something that they always meant to say but never found the moment. The moment is now.