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After Coming Out As Gay, A Russian Violinist's New Reality

W!nston

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After Coming Out As Gay, A Russian Violinist's New Reality
NPR |ANASTASIA TSIOULCAS | April 17, 2017 | 12:26 PM ET

54749f1f657e62216a0ab39be48aac7f



A 23-year-old, Russian-born violinist named Artem Kolesov is capturing international attention after posting a YouTube video in which he comes out as gay.

The son of two Pentecostal pastors in a small town an hour away from Moscow, Kolesov says that he has struggled for most of his life to reconcile his sexual orientation with his Christian beliefs and his family's views. "In my family," Kolesov says in his video, "I often heard that all gays should be destroyed, that they should be bombed, and that if anyone in our family turns out to be gay, my family should kill them with their bare hands."

In the video, Kolesov also recounts wrenching episodes from throughout his life. At age seven, he prayed that he would die before his mother found out that he liked boys. He also endured physical and sexual abuse from one of his brothers, who threatened to out him to his parents if Kolesov told anyone about the abuse, and later attempted suicide several times.

Growing up, he says, "I never heard anything good about gay people. All I knew was that gays are the people who everyone should hate. I was scared because I knew that I was gay. I didn't know anyone who I could talk to about it. It seemed that I was the only gay person in Russia."

The violinist made his video as part of the Russian "Children-404" project, which invites teenagers to share their stories and discuss LGBT issues in Russia. In most of their photos and videos, participants shield their identities by holding up a "Children-404" sign in front of their faces.

Instead of creating an anonymous contribution, Kolesov chose to share his name and face, to let fellow LGBT youth in Russia feel less isolated. He recorded the video in Russian, but also provided English subtitles. "We don't come out for heterosexual people to know," he says in his video, which he published on March 29. "We don't come out for the ones who hate us to know. We shout and make as much noise as possible just so other people like us who are scared and can't be themselves would know that they are not a mistake and they are not alone."

Formerly based in Canada, Kolesov now lives in Chicago, where he is first violinist in the Yas Quartet, which is in residence at Roosevelt University's Chicago College of Performing Arts. Last summer, his ensemble took third prize in the Chamber Division at the Schoenfeld International String Competition which was held in Harbin, China.



In his video, Kolesov contrasts his family's pleasure in his musical accomplishments with their reaction to his coming out. "They are ashamed to have a gay son and brother," he says. "They wish that this part of my identity didn't exist. Interesting that my family is proud of me for being a violinist, and is so ashamed of me for being gay, though both of these are parts of my identity."

In the aftermath of releasing his video, Kolesov told BuzzFeed that he's already begun to experience the impact of his decision to come out so publicly. He has received many positive messages from friends and strangers alike, but he said that he is afraid of being arrested if he returns to Russia, under enforcement of a vaguely worded but broad "anti-gay propaganda" law. Earlier this month, there were reports that more than 100 gay men in Chechnya were arrested and tortured, with some of them reportedly killed by police. (Authorities have denied both the arrests and the deaths.)

Kolesov is also not currently on speaking terms with his relatives, and told BuzzFeed, "Even if I go back to Russia, I'm not sure I would be feeling completely safe with my own family."

SOURCE

This young man is braver than most of us will ever be.

Realizing the oppression and threat of violence and bodily harm he faces by 'Outing' himself in a country where the government enforces laws to imprison anyone who dares to come out or even voice their support for anyone or anything thing remotely Gay.

We in the west are soft and spoiled. We complain about our lives as Gay men. We are so entitled to Gay Marriage and our quest for Equality. The reality in the rest of the world is grim.
 

haiducii

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Well done, Artem! :thumbs up: I'm sure your story will bring strength to others in need.
 

topdog

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I know for many young people in the West coming out feels very similar to Artem's experience. They risk losing family and friends and put themselves in physical danger. And they are not wrong.

But a difference is that in the West, even in that worst case scenario, you can relocate to a nearby city where you will find sanctuary, friends, and support. You may lose your old life, but you can start a new one. Artem can only do that by leaving his country.

And with the internet, news, and entertainment media gays here are visible and strong. In Russia gays are becoming invisible - which may be the most insidious effect of the Russian law. "It seemed that I was the only gay person in Russia." That is heartbreaking.

But whether you are in Russia or the West, coming out is always a revolutionary act. It challenges people's expectations. It is the single most powerful agent of change at the fingertips of every gay person. And it never stops - we are always coming out to someone, even if it is as simple as correcting pronouns when referring to our significant other in casual conversation.

Artem is an example for all of us that our sexual orientation shouldn't be stuffed into a closet as being too personal to mention. It is part of our risky contribution to making the world a little freer, a little more tolerant, a little kinder. Knowing that some young people can't take that risk means that those of us who are older and a little more fearless need to be that much more open to make the world safer for those who are still vulnerable.
 

Stonecold

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Kolesov is brave but I don't think he is braver then many other Gay people, there are lots of people here in the US and many other countries that have faced hardships and danger for being Gay especially members of the Gay community that are older and in countries that are not Gay friendly. Kolesov is a very talented young man and I am glad he was in the west when he announced this. Kolesov now 23 has been in Canada since he was 16 and now recently moved to Chicago. Kolesov has endured more then anyone should have to and he is very smart coming out as this ensures he will not have to ever return to Russia. The US might not give him citizenship but Canada will.
 

ritsuka

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I was really moved by Artem's story about escaping his homophobic family and the sexual abuse he suffered through under his older brother. That is a very powerful coming out, not only as gay, but as a survivor of incest, and I'm so glad he was able to leave his home country to do both safely out of reach of his relatives. In the west, many of us survivors also find a huge amount of trouble getting away from our abusive families and finding enough breathing room to actually be who we are. I hope his message will reach a lot of fellow '404 children' in Russia who are experiencing similar things.
 
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