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I might have HIV

c750dt

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Hopefully. I'm actually more worried about possible side effects from medication than anything else. According to the blood work results I have on hand, the strain of HIV I picked up isn't resistant to any of the drugs they tested against it so hopefully they will put me on a pretty light regimen with one of the less scary of the drugs. Some look scarier than the others.

Anon URL
 
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topdog

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Hopefully. I'm actually more worried about possible side effects from medication than anything else.[/url]

Don't let the reported side effects scare you. The phrase "you mileage may vary" could have been invented for describing side effects. Some people experience no side effects. Some people only experience them when they first start taking the medication, then they go away.

Take it one step at a time. It may take 6 to 8 weeks to really know how a drug is going to function long-term. You've got time to experiment. If a side effect is too intense or you just can't live with it, it might be possible to switch to something else, or add in something else to reduce the unintended consequence.

Pharmacology is art and lifestyle management as much as it is science. But you will have a team on your side - so take advantage of them. (Starting with your partner.)
 

freewind1229

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Hug. Don't worry too much and positive emotion would helps a lot
 

trypt

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Hang in there mate. It took guts to open up like this. Please remember how you are feeling let the next sexual partner make their choice too and let them know even if they are on PrEP.
I reported a very good friend to the cops for not disclosing to his partners.Its just not right and not just your decision to make. He still doesn't talk to me till today but I still let him know our friendship matters to me till today.
 

c750dt

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Well I just got back from my first doctor appointment. Apparently between February and March my CD4 went from 520 to 309. They also started me on treatment. One pill a day. They also gave me a couple of vaccine shots while I was there.

Funny enough, the doctor sounds just like Dr. Nik from the Simpsons. He seemed pretty competent though. Very friendly. I suppose at this point I'll just have to watch for side effects and hopefully we'll see my numbers improve.
 

slimjim

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Well okay so the numbers are a bit low but you have only just started treatment, which should see the numbers come back up. What's the timescale for the pills to get going - are they pretty immediate or does it take a week or two to build up in the system. Presumably they have booked you in regarding the next blood test to monitor their effect?


btw...Couldn't resist:


 
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c750dt

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I go back in at the beginning of next month but that's because one of the vaccinations I started today comes in three parts. Not sure when they'll next want to draw blood. Also, fwiw, the literature they gave me for the medication I've been prescribed features a different naked smiling person staring at me on each page. It's so creepy.

Also yes, that voice. Seriously, it's identical.
 

yoyo888

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So I guess the lower the number the better?

Did you ever get in contact with the person that potentially infected you?

YOYO
 

jeansGuyOZ

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^^ If rascalcat is referring to the numbers, the lower the viral load the better. The CD4 count on the other hand measures the level of your normal immune system cells, so you want to keep that number up.

I don't know how quickly the current drugs start working, but it used to be the case that when someone first started HIV medication it could take two or three months for the numbers to move significantly in the right direction.

Treatments aim to get the viral load to an undetectable level. Last I heard the lowest detectable level was 50. That sounds as if you have a long way to go, from 47,500 to 50, but it's not quite as bad as it sounds because virus populations behave logarithmically, like human populations. What I mean by that is that if it takes a certain time for the population to double, it will take roughly the same time to double again. Same applies when population is falling.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Research in recent years indicates that for someone with HIV who is on medication and therefore has an undetectable viral load, the chances of passing it on are extremely low. So low in fact that such a person is LESS likely to transmit HIV than someone who does not know their HIV status. This is because of the significant chance they might have it, and the fact that symptoms can take some time to appear.

That last paragraph is worth reading again, slowly, and thinking about the implications. Let's suppose you had a test last week and tested negative. Have you had unprotected sex since then? if so, you don't know your HIV status. Some of us remember when the epidemic first started, and there was a bit of a craze among certain sections of the population to demand of a prospective sex partner that they show you a "certificate" indicating they were HIV negative. Such certificates were worthless, because they were valid only at the moment they were issued.

My advice to the OP:

- Follow the prescribed treatment; the doctors know what they are doing.
- take care of your health in other ways, i.e. good diet, exercise, etc.
- Resist efforts to stigmatise you as if you are somehow to blame for contracting HIV. especially from people you may have had sexual contact with. Some people want to play the blame game "I'm sure that guy gave me HIV", as though that was going to solve anything - when a better way to express it would be "We did this, and we did that, and it may have resulted in my contracting HIV from him.:" In other words, the responsibility is shared.
- Like others have said, don't let HIV define you.
 
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havocs

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To OP:
How you holding up? Sometimes they have to play around with the meds to find the right mix for you. What kind of things have you done since you found out?
 

c750dt

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Pretty well and thanks. Hopefully my next blood draw will show good results. Since taking the pill I'm on now I am constantly dehydrated and can't get enough water. I haven't noticed any other side effects.

There are small things that nobody would normally think about like the other day when I had to explain to my spouse why he can't shave his face with the same razor I use (risk of infection though blood and open wounds). At first i was pretty nervous and also I had worries that I'm not normal but those have long since passed by. I think a lot about having HIV but at the same time, life's still pretty normal for me. I'm still yet to tell my mom and think I probably should soon. It's just every time I see her there seems to be something else stressing her and it feels like a bad time to give her any stressing news.
 

slimjim

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I'm still yet to tell my mom and think I probably should soon. It's just every time I see her there seems to be something else stressing her and it feels like a bad time to give her any stressing news.

Maybe it's best to wait until you get a better CD4 count then you can give her that encouraging news at the same time.

 

topdog

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... I'm still yet to tell my mom and think I probably should soon. It's just every time I see her there seems to be something else stressing her and it feels like a bad time to give her any stressing news.

You seem to be taking to the medication very well - good to hear. :) Have you thought about visiting an HIV support group? A lot of things you are going through are roads others have traveled before you. It might be encouraging and instructive to talk and be somewhere where people get exactly what you are going through.

Re: Mom

This is really coming out all over again, isn't it? Same fears, same process. Whatever you decide to do, remember that just like in coming out, you need to be aware of the story you are telling. It is not one of crushing news. The conversation is about the fact that you love and respect her so much that you want to bring her in to the story so she can be an active participant in your real life. Some people keep their parents at a "safe" distance. You aren't going to do that. You love her so much that you want her on the ride with you.

Put the shoe on the other foot. If she discovered that she had cancer, you would want her to tell you soon, right? You would want to be there, and help out if possible, and just be an encourager and cheerleader if nothing else. Give her the same opportunity you would want if the roles were reversed.

Hey - it's Easter today. In my religion that is a day to remember that joy and love can even come out of circumstance where most people would only see tears and death. This is one more opportunity to choose to follow the love and tell the fear to take a hike.
 
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c750dt

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Thanks for the advice. Next time I see her I'm going to tell her. It's actually been bugging me since day one kinda being in a new closet over this. I know she's going to be supportive of me.

I haven't talked to any support groups but I do seem to be in some good hands. Funny enough, my spouse was an HIV counselor at one time; I found that out shortly after testing positive. On top of that, the city I live in has some really good resources. I've felt like I'm in good hands.
 
B

blizzard

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I'm glad you're doing well or at least seem to be. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you (and others) to go through. But it does seem like you are managing well. For that, I'm thankful. :)
 

havocs

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Good to hear you are responding well to the meds. There are probably support groups for people in relationships with positive people, at least multiple resources. Your partner should check them out to better support you. As for your mother....well....my attitude towards family can be a bit.....off. Her problems arent your problems, you telling her you are positive isnt about her, its about you (just as you coming out)! If she freaks out, that is her decision/problem, this is life, and you are living it. You got this! :big hug:
 

c750dt

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Thanks. Um, I kinda let my family know though Facebook. They didn't like that I didn't wanna tell them in person but ultimately acknowledged how nervous I was and by the time I saw any of them in person tensions had calmed down. There was an element I wasn't expecting and that's people who know my husband questioning him and bothering him about my status. Otherwise reaction has been pretty positive. A lot of people made it known to me they care about me.

Earlier today I had another blood draw. My husband and I are enrolled in a study by the same people who sent me that at home test mentioned in original post and I saw them today and they wanted blood and hair from me. I also have an appointment with my care provider in little over a week.

Also, not totally relevant but I just realized I have under 24 hours left of my 20s.
 
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yoyo888

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Hey Dude,

How are you doing? It been just over a year ago that you shared this news with us.

YOYO
 
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