Do You Do Anything Not So Typical of the "Gay Guy"?

I've always loved to hear what people's stereotypical definition of the "gay guy" is. Most of the time, it's always that guy guys are awesome dressers in fashion, have plenty of money, and good jobs. And we love to go to the disco!

Of course, then I have to point out that gay people come from every facet of life; rich, pool, and mediocre; some are horrible dressers (my friend Tyler who's idea of fashion is an old pair of sweat pants and a tank top), and I know a few who wouldn't be caught dead in a night club (I don't associate with them on Friday nights!)

But the one that really catches guys and girls off guard is when I tell them that one thing I like to do now and then is go to one of the country music night clubs to learn how to line dance! Yep, I line dance!

It was kinda funny how I got into it. When I was 21 and had been going to a few clubs for a while, one of my girl friends said that she wanted to take me to a different club but wouldn't tell me which one. She just said "Get yourself doll'ed up and meet me at my house." So I got my hair all glittered up, put on my tight black jeans, and my metal mesh, see-through, blue and silver club shirt, my white studded belt, and headed to hear house. Her reaction was like "OMG" 'cause she knew what was coming.

So we get to the club, and it is a country music club! Felt just a little out of place to start with. But I love country music, so that part wasn't to bad. Then we saw that they were about to start a line dance class, so since it was free and part of the cover charge, we jumped in. It was pretty funny to see the reaction of the folks on the floor. They were mostly in blue jeans, t-shirts, or country style button-downs. And here is "Glitter Boy" on the dance floor.

So the song that they were teaching that night was this one:


It's an intermediate dance, which meant that is was fucking difficult for the novice. But it was fun to learn. So then for about the next six months I made it a regular stop when I was going out. I'd stop by there for an hour or hour and a half, and then make my way to the regular dance club. I usually try to get there once a month or so when I go out.

And where I have more fun with the guys when I'm at the regular club, I seem to mostly attract the middle age women at the country club. They all know that I'm gay, so scoring is out of the question. They just think that it's cool that a glittered up gay boy would come line dance for a while before heading for the drama clubs.

I'm actually not that flamboyant and pretty conservative, all things considered. I'm funny but sarcastic, and most of the gay guys I met aren't really like me in that regard. So not sure.

Nice to know you're good at line dancing though. lol
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Cheers.

We keep our front yard toned down.

I drink non-lite beer?

I strenguously avoid Eurovision.
My boyfriend does watch it but he thoughtfuly puts it on pause when I go in the room.

The streotypical gay image at least in here is mostly seen in the gay scene. Gays who don't identify themselves with it stay out, and thanks to apps, you can do that and find company. And I think it's the same thing with gay scene as any scene, people who get involved wanna fit in. It's seen in all scenes, so it kinda feeds itself. Most guys I've hooked up with are not at all stereotypical. Well, except they are usually well groomed and take their outlook bit more seriously

For me it's easier to say what stereotypical qualities I find in myself rather than what I don't. I can go shopping with women for clothes and stuff, I have good eye for desings and can visualize things well. Well I take pretty good care of my outlooks, but don't use make-up etc. Many straight guys these days also take good care of themselves too.

I think this stereotypical 'what qualities i have or don't' just feeds the stereotypes. Sexual orientation doesn't really have to have effect on anything else than in your sexual orientation

But for the sake of it: I can do forestry, fix simple car problems, know something about building a house and stuff, drink mostly beer instead of any sweet drinks, have mostly straight friends(maybe company makes one alike), and usually new people get bit suprised when I mention I'm gay or when it comes up (usually they might say that I don't sound like one) etc. And now I'm feeding the straight guy stereotype...

Most of the gay people I know seem to primarily like music you can dance to. Can't say I've met a lot of other gay men who'll listen to the Velvet Underground or put on Led Zepplin during sex.

Even if some gay men go out of their way to do masculine things, buffing up at the gym etc. etc., they still have 'gay eyes'. Often I think the eyes can indicate sexual orientation. The 'windows to the soul' are also the windows to sexual orientation.

I wonder are gay men less aggressive also? There are fights breaking out around straight nightclubs and bars, but not so much in gay bars. I believe gay men get every bit as drunk as straight guys on a 'night out'. I suppose straight guys fight over women, but then why would you not have an equivalent in the form of two top gays fighting over a bottom?

I have never seen a violent fight outside a gay club. And I have been to quiet a few.

Mardo said:

Even if some gay men go out of their way to do masculine things, buffing up at the gym etc. etc., they still have 'gay eyes'. Often I think the eyes can indicate sexual orientation. The 'windows to the soul' are also the windows to sexual orientation.

I wonder are gay men less aggressive also? There are fights breaking out around straight nightclubs and bars, but not so much in gay bars. I believe gay men get every bit as drunk as straight guys on a 'night out'. I suppose straight guys fight over women, but then why would you not have an equivalent in the form of two top gays fighting over a bottom?

I have never seen a violent fight outside a gay club. And I have been to quiet a few.

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Totally right. Surely there will be as well gay-men who are unfriendly contemporaries (I know some of them!) but the large majority of gay-men will be rather peaceful, perhaps a little bit more nippy than straight-men.

And what you are telling about the eyes - well it is very interesting! I for myself always try not to behave poofy. But perhaps there will be the one or the other gesture or body language which may be a traitor.

Gay guys back in the early 70's used to get into fights at least at rest areas or book stores with glory holes. You would see some vicious fights and pushing and shoving when a hot guy walked into a stall with a glory hole.

I am a gay male loves heavy metal music scary movies and dont act feminine at all--so when go out guys dont think I am gay until I make first move--I like dance music to a certain point but dont mind hanging out with those that do and act feminine-and I like a feminine top guy as I like the idea of girlyboys making me moan

I think I don't act any feminine at all, beside the fact that I'm rather a good-tempered person. Although I do have typical masculine traits like I love cars and all sorts of beer and spirits. I try to workout on gym and waterpool a lot and overall I probably care about my health and looks more than ordinary straight folks do, so that might be the only hint that I'm not a hetero. I may also add that I hate all things that are stereotypically atributed to gays such as love for musicals, balets, all sort of pink cozy thingies, leather clothes, etc.

Achmi said:

I think I don't act any feminine at all, beside the fact that I'm rather a good-tempered person. Although I do have typical masculine traits like I love cars and all sorts of beer and spirits. I try to workout on gym and waterpool a lot and overall I probably care about my health and looks more than ordinary straight folks do, so that might be the only hint that I'm not a hetero. I may also add that I hate all things that are stereotypically atributed to gays such as love for musicals, balets, all sort of pink cozy thingies, leather clothes, etc.

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:thumbs up::thumbs up::thumbs up::agree::agree::agree::agree::agree:

That's why a local songwriter wrote these lines about after coming out:

And I'm being told exactly what to think,
Have I simply left my closet for a wardrobe painted pink?

There's often quite a bit of subtle pressure to conform to the stereotypes (or tribe) if one wants to "belong" to a certain clique.

naughty_gam said:

That's why a local songwriter wrote these lines about after coming out:

And I'm being told exactly what to think,
Have I simply left my closet for a wardrobe painted pink?

There's often quite a bit of subtle pressure to conform to the stereotypes (or tribe) if one wants to "belong" to a certain clique.

Click to expand...

I'm not so sure it's all mere social conformity. Although that would be a nice, neat, convenient, all encompassing explanation. The human condition is hardly so easily explained away.

Can a transsexual be a woman trapped in a man's body? Or, is it all just social dynamics? If so then why should a transsexual go to the extreme of getting castrated? But if the very physical structures of the brain are female, in a male body... well now this cannot be wished away as merely a fleeting social dynamic.

I do believe many gay men have female, or semi-female brains. That is the reason for the 'limp wrist', and a million other subtle indicators. Not all gay men though and not all to the same extent. But even the 'butch' gays frequenting the leather bars, or trying to normalise themselves by seeking to be 'mainstreamed' as gays who 'look normal' and can marry, adopt, etc. are still, to be brutal about it, abnormal. It runs deep. In the very structures of the brain. Perhaps even genetically, coded into every cell of the body.

Why the intense pressure to say we are 'normal'. Why do some gays feel the need to say 'oh our brains are perfectly hetero? No difference. Really?

Actually, this 'liberal' thinking is actually conservative to the core. If being gays is merely 'cultural', or a 'socialised', then you can pray the gay away.

Look inside yourself and be honest. Do you have the brain of a woman? Fully, or partially? The personality of a woman? Not wholly perhaps, but to a substantial extent. It's very hard to be honest about a thing like that. Scary even.