X
XMan101
Guest
Eeee Uncle Mort 
Wonder why Northern men were always depicted as so henpecked lol
Wonder why Northern men were always depicted as so henpecked lol
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Here`s a joke:
A group of american explorers get lost in the amazonian jungle.
After a lot of days without water and food, a group of pigmys capture them and take them to their leader.
Americans: Hi, pygmy boss! Look, we are a group of explorers from America and we got lost in this jungle. Can you help us and give us something to eat? Cause it`s been a long time since we last ate!
Pygmy boss : hmmm...abbabucca!
Americans: oh, wow! Yes! We`re saved! Listen, pygmy boss! We are also thirsty! Very thirsrty! Can you give us something to drink? Water?
Pygmy boss: aaaaaa! Abbabucca!!
Americans: YES!! We`re saved! Listen, Big Boss...we left from home so long ago that we haven`t had sex in a BIG while! ANy chance for some good looking pygmy here? hmmm?
Pygmy Boss: AAAA!!! ABBABUCCA!!!!!
One of the americans really needs to pee. Goes outside of the tent and starts peeing next to a tree. A pygmy comes closer. He looks at the american and says:
Wow! What a big boss! But what a small abbabucca!!!
A group of american explorers get lost in the amazonian jungle.
After a lot of days without water and food, a group of pigmys capture them and take them to their leader.
Americans: Hi, pygmy boss! Look, we are a group of explorers from America and we got lost in this jungle. Can you help us and give us something to eat? Cause it`s been a long time since we last ate!
Pygmy boss : hmmm...abbabucca!
Americans: oh, wow! Yes! We`re saved! Listen, pygmy boss! We are also thirsty! Very thirsrty! Can you give us something to drink? Water?
Pygmy boss: aaaaaa! Abbabucca!!
Americans: YES!! We`re saved! Listen, Big Boss...we left from home so long ago that we haven`t had sex in a BIG while! ANy chance for some good looking pygmy here? hmmm?
Pygmy Boss: AAAA!!! ABBABUCCA!!!!!
One of the americans really needs to pee. Goes outside of the tent and starts peeing next to a tree. A pygmy comes closer. He looks at the american and says:
Wow! What a big boss! But what a small abbabucca!!!
Read this joke. But read it all from the start to the end! Word by word, cause it needs to be read word by word to fully understand it!
A guy who was traveling around the world with work ended up in a certain city. At evening he went to a hotel and checked in. He went upstairs in his room and in the room , on the bed he finds this big piece of paper with something written on it. The language was a foreign one and he didn`t understand what the words said. So he decided to go downstairs and ask the receptionist.
He goes downstairs with the paper in his hands and tells the receptionist:
- Excuse me , sir? I`m Mr.X and I`ve checked in this evening. I`m in room 1408P) . Look, on the bed in my room I have found this piece of paper with something written on it and I don`t understand the language... What does it say? Is the toilet broken? The shower doesn't work?
The receptionist looks at the paper and he says:
- Sir! I can`t believe your nerve! I can`t believe how ...I can`t believe we let you stay in our hotel! You have the nerve to come here with this piece of paper with that nasty phrase on it and you expect me to stay calm and answer your question, or what? I`m gonna call the manager!
The receptionist calls the manager and shows him the piece of paper:
The manager:
- I can`t believe this!! Sir, are you a guest in our hotel? I`m sorry sir, but you aresuch a rude person! You`re such a case-hardened! Please, take your things and leave this hotel at once! And never come back!
But, but...but...what does it say on the paper? What does that mean>???
Sir! You have the nerve to....SECURITY!!!! SECURITY!!!!
Security arrives and escorts our man in his room to take his luggage, they take the key and throw him out together wit the piece of paper.
Very puzzled, our man decides to go to another hotel.He takes the piece of paper, puts it in the pocket and leaves to another hotel.
He checks in, takes a shower and decides to go down to the bar to have a drink.
At the bar, he orders a Jack and while enjoying his whiskey he starts talking with te bartender.
- Listen, he says, I went to another hotel earlier...checked in...and in the room, on the bed I`ve found a piece of paper with something written in a foreign language. Get this: I went down to ask what`s it all about and they threw me out! They said a lot of bad things about me and they threw me out and banned me for life! And it wasn`t even MY piece of paper!
- Oh, c`mon sir! Be serious! How can they throw you out because of a piece of paper and some phrase?
- Yes, look! This is the piece of paper! It`s a foreign language.
Smiling, the bartender takes the piece of paper, being sure it`s just a bad joke. He takes a look at the piece of paper, reads it and says:
- Sir! Please pay your drink and leave this bar at once! I can`t believe people like you having the nerve to... no! I will call the reception! I will tell them to check you out immediately! I can`t believe you.. you...I don`t even want to see you! such a disgusting man...
The bartender calls the reception...
The receptionist comes and sees the paper, reads it...and says:
Sir! I can`t believe we let you stay in our hotel! Please, take your stuff and leave this place! And never come back! Or else I`ll call the...NO! I am calling the security: SECURITY!!!!
The security guy comes, escorts the man in the room, the man takes his luggage and they throw him out.
More puzzled and very tired, he goes to another hotel, checks in, says nothing about the piece of paper, sleeps and the next day goes home.
At work, his work mate and best friend asks about the trip and how was it and a lot of questions.
Our man kept thinking about what happened and tells his friend everything.
His friend, without any sign of belief asks for proof! The man gives his friend the piece of paper. The friend reads it and says:
- I can`t believe I was your friend for all these years! I don`t know you! I don`t know who you are! I never met you! You are so disgusting! I can`t believe your nerve! My GOD! No, this won`t stay like this! I`m gonna tell Boss about you! You...You.... BOSS!!!
He tells their boss everything, he shows the paper and the Boss replies:
- You`re fired!!!!!!!!! I can`t believe I hired a person like you! You disgusting person! You... you... I`m gonna call security! Leave this place NOW!!
At home, very sad , our guy talks to his wife:
Honey, they fired me, John doesn`t want to be my friend anymore and ...oh, God! Why is this happening to me? All of this for a darn paper? For a text ina foreign language...I don`t even know what the hell the phrase MEANS!!!
The wife intrigued asks for the paper to see it. Her husband doesn`t want to show her:
- NO! You`ll react just like everybody else!
No, the wife replied... I`m your wife! I love you! Show me the damn paper!
The wife sees the paper , reads it and says:
- DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After a lot of bad words and fights, they get divorced! At the trial , the judge sees the paper as an evidence, starts a big circus of words and decided that everything goes to the wife! Our guy is left on the streets with no money, no job, no house, no nothing!
After 1 week of wandering on the streets he meets an old friend of his. They talk, the friend asks what happened, our guy tells him the whole story. The friend doesn`t believe him and our guy shows him the paper:
- HERE! Take it! It`s all I have left on this world! The thing that ruined my life! Take it, read it and beat me! Kill me! Do what you want! I`m ruined anyways!
The friend looks at the paper and says:
- Boq, I don`t know what the phrase means but look, let me take this paper cause I have a friend who works at the library..he`s a librarian and he might know what the phrase means and in what language it is written.
Our guy agrees and gives his friend the paper.
Three days passed and no sign of the friend.
Five days and no sign of the friend.
2 weeks passed and out guy was going crazy.
after 15 days he meets his friend in a market.
- Hey!!!! Where have you been?? Have you forgotten me? Did you manage to find out about that paper I gave you?
the friend replies:
Ah, the paper? Oh, I lost it!
(I was with a friend at a bar when he told me this but his version was wayyy longer...and after he finished it , my first instinct was to throw the beer bottle in his head! )
A guy who was traveling around the world with work ended up in a certain city. At evening he went to a hotel and checked in. He went upstairs in his room and in the room , on the bed he finds this big piece of paper with something written on it. The language was a foreign one and he didn`t understand what the words said. So he decided to go downstairs and ask the receptionist.
He goes downstairs with the paper in his hands and tells the receptionist:
- Excuse me , sir? I`m Mr.X and I`ve checked in this evening. I`m in room 1408
P) . Look, on the bed in my room I have found this piece of paper with something written on it and I don`t understand the language... What does it say? Is the toilet broken? The shower doesn't work?The receptionist looks at the paper and he says:
- Sir! I can`t believe your nerve! I can`t believe how ...I can`t believe we let you stay in our hotel! You have the nerve to come here with this piece of paper with that nasty phrase on it and you expect me to stay calm and answer your question, or what? I`m gonna call the manager!
The receptionist calls the manager and shows him the piece of paper:
The manager:
- I can`t believe this!! Sir, are you a guest in our hotel? I`m sorry sir, but you aresuch a rude person! You`re such a case-hardened! Please, take your things and leave this hotel at once! And never come back!
But, but...but...what does it say on the paper? What does that mean>???
Sir! You have the nerve to....SECURITY!!!! SECURITY!!!!
Security arrives and escorts our man in his room to take his luggage, they take the key and throw him out together wit the piece of paper.
Very puzzled, our man decides to go to another hotel.He takes the piece of paper, puts it in the pocket and leaves to another hotel.
He checks in, takes a shower and decides to go down to the bar to have a drink.
At the bar, he orders a Jack and while enjoying his whiskey he starts talking with te bartender.
- Listen, he says, I went to another hotel earlier...checked in...and in the room, on the bed I`ve found a piece of paper with something written in a foreign language. Get this: I went down to ask what`s it all about and they threw me out! They said a lot of bad things about me and they threw me out and banned me for life! And it wasn`t even MY piece of paper!
- Oh, c`mon sir! Be serious! How can they throw you out because of a piece of paper and some phrase?
- Yes, look! This is the piece of paper! It`s a foreign language.
Smiling, the bartender takes the piece of paper, being sure it`s just a bad joke. He takes a look at the piece of paper, reads it and says:
- Sir! Please pay your drink and leave this bar at once! I can`t believe people like you having the nerve to... no! I will call the reception! I will tell them to check you out immediately! I can`t believe you.. you...I don`t even want to see you! such a disgusting man...
The bartender calls the reception...
The receptionist comes and sees the paper, reads it...and says:
Sir! I can`t believe we let you stay in our hotel! Please, take your stuff and leave this place! And never come back! Or else I`ll call the...NO! I am calling the security: SECURITY!!!!
The security guy comes, escorts the man in the room, the man takes his luggage and they throw him out.
More puzzled and very tired, he goes to another hotel, checks in, says nothing about the piece of paper, sleeps and the next day goes home.
At work, his work mate and best friend asks about the trip and how was it and a lot of questions.
Our man kept thinking about what happened and tells his friend everything.
His friend, without any sign of belief asks for proof! The man gives his friend the piece of paper. The friend reads it and says:
- I can`t believe I was your friend for all these years! I don`t know you! I don`t know who you are! I never met you! You are so disgusting! I can`t believe your nerve! My GOD! No, this won`t stay like this! I`m gonna tell Boss about you! You...You.... BOSS!!!
He tells their boss everything, he shows the paper and the Boss replies:
- You`re fired!!!!!!!!! I can`t believe I hired a person like you! You disgusting person! You... you... I`m gonna call security! Leave this place NOW!!
At home, very sad , our guy talks to his wife:
Honey, they fired me, John doesn`t want to be my friend anymore and ...oh, God! Why is this happening to me? All of this for a darn paper? For a text ina foreign language...I don`t even know what the hell the phrase MEANS!!!
The wife intrigued asks for the paper to see it. Her husband doesn`t want to show her:
- NO! You`ll react just like everybody else!
No, the wife replied... I`m your wife! I love you! Show me the damn paper!
The wife sees the paper , reads it and says:
- DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After a lot of bad words and fights, they get divorced! At the trial , the judge sees the paper as an evidence, starts a big circus of words and decided that everything goes to the wife! Our guy is left on the streets with no money, no job, no house, no nothing!
After 1 week of wandering on the streets he meets an old friend of his. They talk, the friend asks what happened, our guy tells him the whole story. The friend doesn`t believe him and our guy shows him the paper:
- HERE! Take it! It`s all I have left on this world! The thing that ruined my life! Take it, read it and beat me! Kill me! Do what you want! I`m ruined anyways!
The friend looks at the paper and says:
- Boq, I don`t know what the phrase means but look, let me take this paper cause I have a friend who works at the library..he`s a librarian and he might know what the phrase means and in what language it is written.
Our guy agrees and gives his friend the paper.
Three days passed and no sign of the friend.
Five days and no sign of the friend.
2 weeks passed and out guy was going crazy.
after 15 days he meets his friend in a market.
- Hey!!!! Where have you been?? Have you forgotten me? Did you manage to find out about that paper I gave you?
the friend replies:
Ah, the paper? Oh, I lost it!
(I was with a friend at a bar when he told me this but his version was wayyy longer...and after he finished it , my first instinct was to throw the beer bottle in his head! )
Thor
Banned
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hahaha, I knew i shouldn't have read it when you said: "But read it all from the start to the end! Word by word, cause it needs to be read word by word to fully understand it!"
but i think i would just have poured my beer on him lol
but i think i would just have poured my beer on him
lol
H
hammervice
Guest
word to word i cant read that many words
Thor
Banned
- Joined
- May 9, 2009
- Messages
- 1,019
- Reaction score
- 13
- Points
- 0
H
hammervice
Guest
or spell that many
just teasing babe:x:-*
yeah that would be harder
S
smallsleepyrascalcat
Guest
IMAGE REMOVED. PLEASE DO NOT LINK TO EXTERNAL WEBSITES UNLESS YOU OWN IT. THANKS.
XMAN101
Viva Joscha
Then as attachment ^^
XMAN101
Viva Joscha
Then as attachment ^^
Last edited:
X
XMan101
Guest
After seeing clips from the Japanese game show "Endurance" years ago nothing surprises me about their humour !
Endurance is that game where they had to walk on rolling tubes and fall down in water or where they had to walk on a thin something and there were these guys who threw balls at the contestants? And at the end of the game they were with this weird cars or tanks with laser type of guns? LOL! I used to laugh my ass off on those games!
)
