my first gay event

well I'm stepping out of my comfort zone. I am going to my first ever gay event it's called Pride Community Convention "Join us for fellowship, networking, and valuable community info regarding: Central Alabama Pride, Health Services, Youth Services, Political and Legal Updates, Faith Community Support, and Central Alabama Pride's Advisory Board."

i'm excited and nervous at the same time, one odd part is my mother has to come with me. I can't drive that far or drive downtown. she happy to come but do you think it's weird?

Sounds exciting! It should be educational for your mother as well. As long as she isn't hovering over your shoulder I think it will be fine.

Why not - for me it is a sign that your mother is supporting you! So be happy for her help.

It's a good sign that mom's interested, but be sure to set boundaries! (Mine got a bit overzealous and began encroaching on my life, and that was a bit more than too much)

Hi Wardell, I was terrified when I started testing the gay scene & started with a discussion group. Enjoy!!
Dont worry if its not to your liking, because events depend so much on the people, & if they are fun, open, interactive etc. PS I wish my Mum was as helpfull!

Hey, well congratulations on stepping out. I know that can be a hard step, and hope everything goes well for you. It's nice to hear that you have a supportive mother too who is willing to take the time to help you out. A supportive family, no matter what you are doing, is an important thing. I'm also glad that I had a supportive family, and still do. Let us know how it all goes!

well today is the day it starts at 6:00pm. I'm so nervous. I don't know why

does any one have any last minute advice? how do I not be to shy?

wardell said:

does any one have any last minute advice? how do I not be to shy?

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• Introduce yourself and ask their name. Use their name immediately and then work it in to the conversation at least one more time, like saying "Well, it was good to meet you, [name]!"
• Ask for help and advice. People love to be treated as experts who's opinion is valued.
• Ask people how they became interested in [subject] and what would they recommend you do next.

Finally, the best advice I can give you is to walk in to the room and focus on being a contribution to the evening. Gifts, talents, and experiences that only you have can make someone else's experience of the meeting better. That's your goal. Every time you start to slip in to thinking that everybody there knows more than you and you are an outsider, remind yourself that the only standard that applies is for you to add something you already have or know to the mix. Even just in a 1 on 1 conversation with someone.

Be a contribution in any way, and it is a success. The meeting was better because you were there.

topdog said:

• Introduce yourself and ask their name. Use their name immediately and then work it in to the conversation at least one more time, like saying "Well, it was good to meet you, [name]!"
• Ask for help and advice. People love to be treated as experts who's opinion is valued.
• Ask people how they became interested in [subject] and what would they recommend you do next.

Finally, the best advice I can give you is to walk in to the room and focus on being a contribution to the evening. Gifts, talents, and experiences that only you have can make someone else's experience of the meeting better. That's your goal. Every time you start to slip in to thinking that everybody there knows more than you and you are an outsider, remind yourself that the only standard that applies is for you to add something you already have or know to the mix. Even just in a 1 on 1 conversation with someone.

Be a contribution in any way, and it is a success. The meeting was better because you were there.

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topdog, what a positive & well thought out response! In an online world filled with negativity, bullying and comments under 140 characters - you rock!

wardell congrats and be brave - you can do it! With people like topdog on your side, proving some guidance and advice, you can take this next step with more confidence!

pointguy36 said:

topdog, what a positive & well thought out response! In an online world filled with negativity, bullying and comments under 140 characters - you rock!

wardell congrats and be brave - you can do it! With people like topdog on your side, proving some guidance and advice, you can take this next step with more confidence!

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:agree::agree::agree::agree::agree::agree:
That's what I've said so very often before! If you have a problem - Topdog has the answer and not only "an answer" but a really good underpinned answer - an answer which will really help! Topdog in such cases you are the very best! :thumbs up::thumbs up::thumbs up:

well the meeting was informative turns out there is a BIGGER gay scene then I thought in this state. I took Togdog's advice I forced myself to go up to people to introduced myself it was nice meeting people. I found out there is a clinic for gay/bi men who don't have insurance, so I can now go to see a doctor (I called today and now have appt. on the 12) I did find anther event I would like to go to but it would be VERY VERY VERY weird to take my mother but I need some one to dive me and with out her I cant go. It would be VERY awkward if she did come, it is a car wash called Studs & Suds and they will all so have a wet underwear contest I would love to go. I fear that I will miss a lot of fun events all because I cant drive that far by myself the car wash is at a Leather bar called Spike's

well I asked neighbor and he does not want to go to stuff like this. this depressing I just find out there are gay events in my state but I can never go to. this sucks I wish I never went to that stupid meeting then I could my life without knowing it not fair it's like some big cruel joke :angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry:

you know one way to get over nervousness--go to a gaybar--learn which ones has gloryholes--a bar or gay adult booksotores--i visit them all time---either stick your dick in hole get sucked off or let him stick his through the hole--and suck his--so get to know what its like..ad my fave thing to do is press my hole tightly against the wall and get fucked through that hole--i think this will help you break through the nervous

but that's the problem with out any one to drive me I can NEVER go anywhere

Try Uber or maybe a bus to the big city and stay for a day or two.

Bublic transport? If you feel you live too far or can't move around are broplems that are solvable. Getting frustrated won't help. Moving, getting car, they have their own broplems, which too are usually solvable by long term planning.

You need to aproach broplems reasonably. Try to find solutions instead of obsticles. If I can't get to my target A, I try to figure how I could get there, or try come up with target B etc.

You can deal with your frustration. Learn about positive coping skills and broplem solving. Find your negative weaknesses, and work away from them. 'Why this shit always happens to me' is negative. It focuses on the bad and negative, and it implays shit and broplems doesn't happen to everyone. The key is how people deal with their shit, and change in those habbits is quite common if one wants and does some learning and self-exploring.

And you have taken huge step by going to that event! You should be proud. You took the first planned step. You did lot what you wanted, which isn't easy! You talked to strangers etc. Things don't happen over night. Be happy about your latest triumph, you did it.

But if focusing on negative, wallowing, it eats the positive. Planning to go to that event, going there etc. it all worked! Now you need to plan some more, it may take lot of planning, and then do it. And if it fails, so what?

wardell said:

well I asked neighbor and he does not want to go to stuff like this. this depressing I just find out there are gay events in my state but I can never go to. this sucks I wish I never went to that stupid meeting then I could my life without knowing it not fair it's like some big cruel joke :angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry:

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What are the limitations you are working with?

These are the kinds of things that you might not have access to right this minute, but when people really want them they make it happen in time. They get a job, put money away and then buy a car or move to another city to get the life that they want. It's not your neighbor's or mother's responsibility to do these things for you, you do them for yourself.

But, I don't know your story - maybe there are extenuating cirstances. Can you tell us more about what you are facing that makes it difficult to overcome your transportation and location difficulties? Maybe we can help.

topdog said:

What are the limitations you are working with?

These are the kinds of things that you might not have access to right this minute, but when people really want them they make it happen in time. They get a job, put money away and then buy a car or move to another city to get the life that they want. It's not your neighbor's or mother's responsibility to do these things for you, you do them for yourself.

But, I don't know your story - maybe there are extenuating cirstances. Can you tell us more about what you are facing that makes it difficult to overcome your transportation and location difficulties? Maybe we can help.

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I do have a car but I have to many medical problems that stops me form getting a job. so what little money I do have is my mothers . I can drive just not on the freeway and that's the only way to get there. If I do then I get really bad panic attacks. 2 years ago I was in a very bad car wreck, a car came up beside me hit me my car then turned over on the side slid down the highway then trued over in the hood and slid some more. I spend a year and a half in a wheelchair because of it.

it's like every time I try to get my life back on track something ALWAY happens so yea I have a very negative out look on life, because that's all I know. I thought this was my opp. to finally go out and have a life. but I was wrong as for public trans there are NONE and uber will not come here. I spend all my days lucked in my apt with nowhere to go or any one to hang out with I just thought I was finally going to get out and have some fun and a life but I was wrong I was better off not knowing. and yes I do understand why my mom and neighbor don't want to come my neighbor does not want to slip back into his old bad life and my mom that's would just be weird if she did come I'm not mad at them I upset at life there are events out there that I will never get to experience