a lot of what is said here is still true. Guys I have encountered have acted this way, if you arent willing to have sex within 30 seconds of meeting up they move on. It could be that they want someone who 'knows what they are doing' so the encounter can be easy. We all have to start out somewhere.... Keep in mind that you are looking for someone who will treat you right (even if it is one hook up); the fact that these guys cant be bothered is a sign that they are not right for you and you should be happy you dont have to learn the hard way.
Not what a "virgin" wants to hear, but unfortunately this is the gay world we live in, so one needs to face unpleasant facts and try to overcome them in order to get anywhere. Web apps have in some ways been the ruination of gay culture in Western societies, because they pander exclusively to the guys who are utterly comfortable with their sexuality, very experienced at sex, not terribly relationship-oriented, and very impatient with the slightest bit of frustration.
Now more than ever before, if you are a virgin past the age of 19 you are in very deep shit with few ways to dig yourself out and meet anyone to change that staus. If you haven't at least learned how to jump right onto a guy and give him a passable blowjob by your first year at college, virtually nobody wants to be bothered teaching you. Their attitude is 'why should I waste my time on this beginner to have mediocre sex when I can just swipe to the next guy who posts a photo of his gaping asshole or hard cock, and a menu of preferred sex acts in his profile?'
In New York, Philadelphia, L.A., S.F. and Miami, all of my single friends (from 20 to 60) participating on hookup or dating apps relate the same stories: forget it if you're a virgin, forget it if you're looking for a real relationship, and absolutely do not even bother to sign up unless you're willing and able to have sex on a moment's notice anywhere, anytime (if you so much as hesitate to agree for more than ten seconds, the person will delete you mid-text and you'll never hear from them again). 90% of the available guys cannot "host" because they're either cheating on their boyfriend/girlfriend/wife, or live with family/roommates. So you agree to have sex at your place within the next ten minutes, or *poof* they disappear into the ether. The situation is utterly fucking ridiculous for any gay who isn't solely interested in sex as a free-range-casual sporting adventure.
Of course there are exceptions, but they aren't particularly encouraging. I know of two gay couples who met on sites like Match, hit it off immediately, and moved in together faster than a lesbian can book a U-Haul. They got married the second the Supreme Court decision was announced. They're all great guys and wonderful friends. Each couple seems really, truly happy and content. BUT: each of them would shatter a mirror if it caught their reflection before midnight ("unattractive" doesn't even begin to cover it). So they were VERY motivated to move heaven and earth to make a relationship happen. Your average guy with average looks always thinks he's hotter than he is and that he can do better than you on the next swipe, so they aren't especially interested in dating anyone (or heaven forbid, helping a virgin discover man-man sex).
If you're young-ish, slim, and not seriously ugly, you can almost always find an older guy willing to show you the ropes: youth is valuable gay currency in every city. The catch there is you'd have to be attracted to the older guy, or it probably wouldn't be a fun experience for you (or him, unless he's a total selfish creep). Two youngish virgins will not usually find each other or "click" - more often, one of you needs to have a clue on what goes where and when.
Located as you are in a hick town that is far from gay-friendly, options are limited. There's always a gay underground in such areas, where people discreetly know each other and socialize, but unless you somehow stumble into it you'll never find it (and they aren't gonna be all that interested in virgins, anyway).
Even in 2017, the best ways to meet a potential partner to vanquish your virginity are the old-fashioned ways: volunteering with gay-related organizations, joining gay activity groups devoted to non-sexual things that interest you, introductions to friends of friends, etc. Anything that is low sexual pressure yet offers the opportunity to meet other guys who might click with you over shared interests. Pretty much none of this is available where you live right now, so short of moving to a more gay-populated area you may be stuck with just the dating and hookup apps.
In that case, accept that its a numbers game: most of the guys online are full of shit and useless to you, so just keep trying until you hit that 1 in 100 who's actually cool. The biggest red flag is when someone posts a wall of text in his Grindr profile complaining about how "shallow it all is" and how he's looking for someone "down to earth" for a "real relationship". These idiots invariably turn out to be the biggest sluts since the Kardashians, with zero patience for virgins (they'll insist you fuck them bareback immediately before even making eye contact). The men with the least amount of pious bullshit in their profile are the most likely to be real with you. Keep hammering away on both types of app, because you never know: there are date-worthy guys on Grindr who aren't just looking for instant sex, and shallow bed hopping maniacs who lie like crazy on Match.
Most of all, don't put so much pressure on yourself. Losing your virginity is more a hurdle we all need to get past than an event to look forward to or angst about. Very few people are born "good at sex" - instead, they're at some stage between "adequate" and "better than average". Odds are your first few partners aren't going to be tremendously better at it than you, and hardly anyone has a great first time (or second, or third). We learn by doing, ideally with someone who likes us for more than our dick pic selfie. Doesn't mean he has to be marriage material, just be willing to go with the flow and enjoy showing you the basics.
