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Some of us know we're in trouble when we see others in life - on TV, print media, on the street - and start thinking, "Oh, he looks like so-and-so in that porn flick" (!).
I didn't think they rushed in with a tissue; I figured they rushed in with a dry tongue. But if tastes different depending on diet, does diet affect stainability? (If the top has been drinking red-wine, will cold soda water do the trick on suede?) Truly, these are the penetrating questions that keep porn-addicts up at night... when jacking off hasn't done the trick.
Perhaps sofa-sucking is the next big thing? Like white socks and tan lines in the 90s, home furnishings could be the fetish of the decade.
There's no end to what turns people on so I wouldn't be surprised if 'titles like Sofaland Studs' or '3 Seats on My Recliner' etc. appear soon. You mark my words!
Can't wait for "Divan Dicking" (a cuckolding video with the byline "Where three's a crowd"), "Wicker-Lined Backsides: for the cane enthusiast", and "Sideboard Sluts: When the dishes are put away... the boys can play". Really, the studios should just hire us.
It's just the evolution after skinflicks featuring furniture delivery men and removalists, handling all that hard wood furniture... coming soon to a small screen near you:
* One nightstand, or two?
* Papasan Chair - daddy not included. Readily available as extra accessory.
* Chaise or chaste? You choose, if you're louche!
Dialogue:
"Ooo, I love your kitchen. Are your cabinets maple?"
"No, oak. I'm partial to hardwood. After all, kitchen furnishings have to be able to withstand rough treatment."