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Like A Flower I Wilt

S

Squallmuzza

Guest
Gonna get the ball rolling here and post a piece I wrote when I was 13. Not sure what inspired it really, just being an emo kid! Haha.

He wasn't gonna make it. Tears flew to my eyes as I could already see how his body would be mauled by the drop. No. He was suspended in mid-air for what seemed like an eternity. Our eyes met, a single glance conveying a thousand words, a thousand messages, 'I'm sorry'. Tears steaming down my face, I watched him fall.
A horrible wailing noise started, and I immediately thought it to be his death wail, but eventually recognised it as my own anguished cry. There was nothing I could do but watch his death, watch the last moments of his life as they imprinted theirself in my mind. Once more our eyes meet, this time, he is saying goodbye. He closes his eyes now, resigned to his fate.
I reach out with my arm, an empty gesture, as my heart rips from it's moorings, to fall off the edge and follow him to it's end. What use is a heart with nothing to fill it? Retracting the useless arm, pulling it close to my vacant chest. Holding myself with the knowledge that I will never hold him again.
Finally, he finds his tongue. "Tell everyone I'm sorry. I should never have done thi-". A sickening crack cuts his words short as he strikes the floor. He is silenced. He moves no more. Tears retrace his decent as they drop from my eyes and down. A twisted body is all the remains of the man I once knew.
Later, I finally make it down and cradle him like a baby. Even with limbs broken and skull smashed, he looks alive. He looks exactly how I remember him, how I will always remember him. 'When will he wake up?' I ask, unbelieving. He can't be gone. The faceless person standing next to me shakes their head. Never. My tears soak his shirt.
A week later, I stand on the brink of that very same cliff. I look down to where you fell. The flowers are directly beneath me. One last time, my tears make their way to the bottom. I take a few steps to the side, away from the flowers.
Drawing in a breath, I look straight forward. Sunset. It's beautiful. The myriad of colours blending together. This was the last sunset he deserved to see. I close my eyes. Silence. Complete and almost stifling. The breath whistles out of me. One last tear caresses my cheek, angrily brushed away. I can't be found, my face wet with tears.
Arms out-stretched, I reach forward to the end. I let my weight pull me forward until I'm delicately balanced on the edge. A slight smile flits across my face, it's only right. Only right that I meet my end the same way he did. Forward a fraction more, and I fall. My arms are outstretched. Your body may not be there any more to catch me, but I will your spirit to catch me as I fall.
One last thought crosses my mind. I hadn't moved far enough away, there were going to be petals everywhere. I race towards my death laughing at the stupidity of my final thought. I call out to you, 'I'm coming.'
When they find me, I still have the smile on my shattered face. People mutter that they should have seen this coming. Old women console saying 'At least he's happy. Look, he is finally at peace.' More flowers join those already placed. Some tarnished brown-red, some pure white.
 

Jamie

The Restless Soul
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This is just sad...I can imagine the cliff and the flowers...nice picture...you got talent!
 
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Tom

Guest
Very powerful and well spoken.
It paints a vivid picture.
Hard to believe you were only thirteen when you wrote that.
That is some exceptional writing.
 
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Squallmuzza

Guest
Thanks for the comments guys ^_^. I was always an emotional kid, and I used that as a tool to create a picture. I tend not to delve into details too much but push the emotion to the forefront instead. That way, people can create their own images in their mind while concentrating on the actual core of the story that they're reading =)
 
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XMan101

Guest
I was thinking what Tom said when I was reading it. That's damn good for 13 !! It's good for any age, and very effective.

Hope you still write, would be a waste if you don't :)
 
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Squallmuzza

Guest
I haven't written anything of merit in years. I've kinda lost the flair (and time) for it. It's one of those things that has to be really emotionally fuelled for me and well... that's been a little on short supply of late.
 
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