Is gay a choice?

[BugsyB]

Is gay a choice? not sure if this was asked before

but for me it wasnt...i just am lol

 

[LuiM]

I wouldn't say gay is a choice. At least not conscious choice.

But you reminded me on something else: On how I hate labeling gay / str8.

I mean it's just a matter of taste. It does not define you in your essence. Firstly I'm human as everybody else. I mean I "am" gay, but I don't feel the need to go and tell this to everybody. Why would I have to be known in all my neighborhood by my emotional and sexual needs? I mean who cares? Do I know other people's needs? These are quite private matters in our everyday life.

I'm gay with my lover and in my bed and on a gay party and with gay friends and on GayHeaven . But I'm not gay at my job or in the store or at the cinema or when I'm driving a car or singing in a choir or on Stamp Collecting Forum. It doesn't mean I'm hiding myself on those places. It just means it's not important what my emotional sexual needs are - on such places.

That's why I hate labeling. And I hate if someone tells me I hide in the closet because I don't want everybody to know I'm gay. Well I'd say it's pretty immature to tell each and everyone what you feel. It only shows you haven't accepted yourself yet. So you feel the need to tell others hoping they would react positively. But when you're pleased with yourself, you don't care what others would think about you anymore.

So my point was: It doesn't matter if you're gay or str8 when you're buying vegetables in a supermarket.

But I haven't answered your question :worried:

 

[lhardwick69]

i knew at the age of 7 i was different but didnt know why or what it was-- and as i got older i seemed to be more attracted to other boys as well --i think in alot of cases a person is born gay or lesbian but in other cases i think some are gay because of older people taking advantage of them then it comes not the idea of liking other guys but what they know and afraid to see themselves for who they are which confuses them-- but i know i am gay and i know a few guys that did have gay sex while growing up but now are str8 married and with their own kids--to say its a phaze i wouldnt agree to--but curiousity is in all of us no matter what that curiousity is and alot of us go along with those curiousities

 

[LuiM]

I'd say it's kind of subconscious choice. But I'm reserved to the word choice. Because I don't believe being gay has much to do with a free will. At least not entirely. But partially. We always make choices in our lives. In my early childhood I chose to do some experiments with my male cousin - not really wishing or not wishing that in the beginning. I believe those experiences were some kind of foundation of my later sexual preference, likes and dislikes. I don't believe it's genetic thing. I'd say it's social, environmental thing. A complexity of multiple choices and events.

 

[carlos767]

Of course it's not (in my opinion) a choice, we are what we are and SERIOUSLY who would HONESTLY choose to be gay?
Having said that though I'm quite happy to be gay as I've never known any other way, but if I had a choice?

Probably would choose to be straight ... way less drama!

 

[nysander]

I don't think that sexual orientation (gay, straight or bi) is a choice. Seriously, who would choose to be gay given the generalized homophobia encountered even in the most tolerant societies (without mentioning the intolerant ones, where one would risk his/her life)?
I don't know if orientation is based on genetics, environments or what else, but I believe that we do not choose it. What we choose is how to live with the orientation we have.

 

[Askani]

I dont think it's a choice either... differend... "tastes" were always common, ppl just used to hide it, deny it, cuz mating and arranged hook ups were a priority over the feelings... those that still think it is a choice or that it is something new that started to spread lately didnt really think things through... I always believed that love and attraction are natural things... I dont even like the gay/bi/straight labels... those are concepts that have been forced on us by our elders that thought about strenghtening the family, the name, the social relationships... most of the old straight marriages didnt even involve ppl that were attracted to each other to start with... not to mention the old civilizations that had same sex relations as a common thing, even if not entirely open on the streets and such... it was kinda acceptable... male "bond" Mwahahahaha

 

[Triz]

I do believe it is genetically based, since to me only something ingrained into us from the start could change our thought process on who/how we love other people. The things that make girls attractive to most men is inhertently missing from most gay men who have no desires for women. I dont think environment alone could so drastically change a persons preference on who they are attracted to, as if it was there would be so kind of chemical or possiblely a psychological basis to be found (which to my knowledge, they have tried to prove but never could)

 

[blammy]

Yes, it's my choice

 

[josh_the_hot_boy]

Is breathing a choice? Okay then.

 

[nimrod78]

I agree with the other posts its defintiely not a choice

 

[howien212]

absolutely not a choice

 

[jasonhcg]

for me at least it's not

 

[josh_the_hot_boy]

Being gay is not a choice acting on it is.

 

[Askani]

But I believe in possibilities --the little star can even move a little to the right, or a little to the left, as the months and years go by. But it is hard to accept. It would mean everyone is unique, and different and an individual. But do we really want to be individuals?? No. We want to be the SAME. To 'fit'... even if it is just to fit into a sub-culture (i.e. gay 'community').

???

Seriously... the idea of being the same, to belong, to fit... just bores the hell out of me -_- not that I'm a Walking-roller-skatting-afrohaired-rainbow, I look pretty normal, but I dont really like being labeled...classified... categorized... and put with "similar" products >_> If I was straight I'd probably end up making myself try the bi road just to mess things around a bit...

 

[Slimdevil]

no

i think not

 

[luckyfennec]

... definitely, being gay is not a choice. Deciding to act on it, certainly is. By the same token, people are born straight without any choice on their own much in the same way as we were born gay. It's so much a part of our genetic make-up, like being born black, white, or brown. Of course, some people who are born black try to become white (à la Michael Jackson), but it doesn't change their nature...

 

[kronos10]

i agree ..it's not a choice..in french ..pour moi ce n'est pas un choix..même avant la conscience d'être attiré par le même sexe, on l'est déja et tenter d'aller contre ses propres envies est presque toujours un echec....

 

[wise21]

to me its more desire then anything because their are certain characteristic about both sex that make me want to be with them both.

 

[b2000f]

Definately Nature not Nurture