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Christmas Cake recipe

taurus2904

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It's that time of year again, get that wooden spoon out...

Ingredients:

* 2 cups flour
* 1 stick butter
* 1 cup of water
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1 cup of sugar
* 1 tsp salt
* 1 cup of brown sugar
* Lemon juice
* 4 large eggs
* Nuts
* 2 bottle wine
* 2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup...just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine
and wipe counter with the cat.

Go to Tesco and buy cake.

Bingle Jells!
 
G

goejavin

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:))Haha...and here I thought you might have had a Christmas Bark recipe for me....lol.

Now this is what Christmas is all about!!! :thumbs up:
 

taurus2904

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Thanks. I realize now I should have put "Joke" in the title line. A few spirits and sometimes other things make the holidays a little less stressful. :thumbs up:
 

bloop2

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haha this made me giggle, i really liked this one. I was reading it because I wanted to know if I was intereste in the recipe, then I continued to read it thinking that maybe perhaps english wasn't his first language then i realized that it was all a joke. haha great job!
 

Thor

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LMFAO...hahahahahahaha thanks taurus:) lol
 
G

goejavin

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In honor of Taurus for getting us in the Christmas spirit, so to speak, I thought I'd share a Christmas Cake recipe I just tried...

Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
lots of nuts
1 bottle Vodka
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is shtill OK.

Try another cup .... just in case. Turn off the mixerer.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick fruit off floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a sdrewscriver.

Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who careshz.

Check the vodka.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven and wee in the fridge.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka

Fall into bed.

CHERRY MISTMAS
 

taurus2904

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goejavin, we should get together for a baking party!
 
G

goejavin

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Hell yea we should....what a blast that would be...Merry Christmas Taurus!!!

btw...Im heading to Charlotte in March to see my sister so who knows...maybe we can grab a drink or a cup of coffee and a delicious Easter cake together...lol
 

taurus2904

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Hell yea we should....what a blast that would be...Merry Christmas Taurus!!!

btw...Im heading to Charlotte in March to see my sister so who knows...maybe we can grab a drink or a cup of coffee and a delicious Easter cake together...lol

Merry Christmas to you, too!

Message me before you visit. Easter...Easter...? I think a Malibu rum chocolate cake would fit the season.
 
X

XMan101

Guest
Merry Christmas to you, too!

Message me before you visit. Easter...Easter...? I think a Malibu rum chocolate cake would fit the season.

I could do with a piece of that ;) 5000 miles is a long way to travel for cake though :p
 
G

goejavin

Guest
We'd make it well worth your while X...and we'd love to have you....:p
 
X

XMan101

Guest
He he ;) If I had the air fare I'd love to travel over there again too :)
 
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