i need advice on coming out

[laylod4]

I'm glad it turned out well. Coming out is always a personal process. You just eventually have to take that leap and it may be a while before your next, but for the most part it does get easier. I've been out for almost five years now and I have to ponder whether I'll come out / (more likely when and how to come out) at my new job (in a religious setting). :-/

 

[Topperscott]

Hey I'm new on the forum here, but I'm really impressed at all the caring responses you got. Awesome.

And I'm glad your mom dealt with it well. When I came out I expected it to be some overwhelming upheaval in my life and it turned out to be...underwhelming. My family still loves me, my friends are still my friends, and I no longer have that closed, dark, locked room in my soul.

Oh and about being a gay Christian--you do know what Jesus himself had to say on the subject of homosexuality, right?

NOTHING AT ALL.

Anyway, thanks for the original post and the followups too. I like this place.

 

[Jawja]

Thank you all for the kindness you've expressed here to this young fellow. MJM, we all know what you're going through because we've all been there in one way or another. I feel confident in saying we're all with you in spirit. I wish you the best.

 

[razorw2000]

wow- that's really great for you!

i've imagined the scenario a few times but still feel like i wouldn't know what to say or expect, even from my family. but at the same time, i'm kind of lucky (?) that stuff like marriage, kids, etc haven't really come up...

 

[cc8659]

MJM,
Hi. I struggled with the whole Christian/gay issue for a long time. I knew I was gay since I was five, even though I didn't know then what that meant. I guess I was around thirteen the first time I heard homosexuality was a sin according to the bible. I was crucified everyday in school for being gay, but I couldn't believe that now I couldn't be safe in Church. I think that has really hurt my relationship with God over the years. I absolutely can not help being gay. I am zero percent attracted to girls and a hundred and fifty percent drawn towards a physical and emotional relationship with men. I'm trying to be okay with me, but the whole bible thing really hurts me. However, the way I look at it, I can't help being what I am. I don't think God would want me to be fake. In that regard, I don't think God would want you to be anything other than who you truly are. Congratulations on coming out to your mother. I think it was extremely wise to test the waters with someone who loves you no matter what. Coming out to others will definitely be a change for you, but I'll bet it will be a change for the better. You are who God made you, and that is exactly how you were meant to be. Thank you for starting this thread. I really enjoyed reading all the comments. Stay sweet, and when you finally start your relationships with men, please be safe.

 

[richym]

Hey cc8659,
Thanks for your comments. I hear your pain mate. I grew up in the church too, struggling with what it meant to be gay. I chose the option of getting married to a women, who is loving and accepting, but I continually have to hide the real me from people.
The church has been crap, and has taught us that all homosexuality is bad. But some scholars are suggesting that what the Bible is talking about when it refers to homosexuality as wrong (which it does very rarely) is it is talking about abusive sex. I have a talk recorded that goes into detail, and might be helpful for you.
But always know that God loves you dearly, as you are. And sometime we have to just ignore what the church is going on about.

 

[Mamah]

Hey cc8659,
Thanks for your comments. I hear your pain mate. I grew up in the church too, struggling with what it meant to be gay. I chose the option of getting married to a women, who is loving and accepting, but I continually have to hide the real me from people.
The church has been crap, and has taught us that all homosexuality is bad. But some scholars are suggesting that what the Bible is talking about when it refers to homosexuality as wrong (which it does very rarely) is it is talking about abusive sex. I have a talk recorded that goes into detail, and might be helpful for you.
But always know that God loves you dearly, as you are. And sometime we have to just ignore what the church is going on about.

Hey, richym, why don't you post the talk on this forum or give us a link to it? I'm sure many of us would find it interesting and helpful. :heart:

 

[richym]

Mamah, am away this week, but will do when I get back.

 

[mathieuvince]

As you said, the main thing to bear in mind is that you've to be true to yourself. It's always very tiring to play straight when deep down inside you know you're not. Life is too short to waste time beeing someone you're not. I truely believe that the quickest you'll accept it as a fact (nothing to be ashamed or to be proud of, it's just your truth), the easiest it will be for the others to accept you, as you are.

 

[richym]

Hey guys,
Here is the talk I mentioned, it is by Gene Robinson, from Greenbelt festival last year. I think it is really great, looking at what the Bible says about homosexuality, and suggesting maybe the church has got it wrong. I hope it helps people out. Let me know if isn't uploaded right, or what you think.
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