Looking for some honest input.

[bambam4evr]

I am a 38 year old bi? male . the question mark is there because I am not sure exactly and am turning to the forum for some input, Ever since I was first exposed to porn I have always enjoyed watching blowjobs, especially the oral shot. I am turned on by watching gay oral as well . I have given a few guys head but am usually drunk when doing so. I have never been able to do it sober and I have never wanted any sexual reciprocity from any man. I do have types of guys that I am willing to go down on but I have never looked at any man and thought that I find him attractive. I have fantasies of sucking a huge one or 2 or more at once or a shemale would be hot or as a bi encounter witha woman as well. I have fantasies of being the receiver of multiple oral shots. I am simply looking for an answer to define my self somewhat. Any honest help and input would be greatly appreciated in regards to if i am truly bi or what to classify myself as for some reason I feel I need to be able to say what or who I am.

 

[hawtsean]

Any honest help and input would be greatly appreciated in regards to if i am truly bi or what to classify myself as for some reason I feel I need to be able to say what or who I am.

I'll skip the psycho-analytic jargon and simply offer the opinion that you are a sexual creature like all humans. Classifying your sexual orientation is only important for people who thrive on labels and statistics.

You appear to have discovered that you are attracted erotically to other males as well as to females. No big deal. I haven't yet met a guy or girl who isn't aroused by watching sex in some form. Lots of (supposedly) str8 dudes get very horny watching two men pleasure each other. Tons of men will swear that they are str8 but will happily pay or otherwise engage some other guy to blow them. Many str8 men will pay a couple of female hookers to put on a lesbian performance for them, while those two girls may not normally prefer same-sex coupling. The guy jacks off to the action or is otherwise pleasured by the ladies, everyone walks away happy. I've known of all-girl private parties where they hire a couple of male strippers to do the same kind of thing with each other.

You are what and whom you are. Celebrate it and enjoy. Labels tend to jam you into a self-imposed niche and limit your lifestyle and personal enjoyment.

 

[wyario]

I agree with everything Hawtsean said. If you are having fun with consenting adults of a legal age, enjoy yourself. Your "fetish" is oral shots, so your not really going to get that from a woman, unless she has very developed muscles! I think there is more to being gay or bi than a faceful of ...

 

[topdog]

I am firmly with hawtsean and wyario. As I said in another thread yesterday, the variety of male sexuality is far too diverse to be confined to labels like straight / gay / bi. What's more, it can alter at different times of your life, and also by the looks and personality of a specific person. (One friend told me that he was straight - though he probably wouldn't kick David Beckham out of his bed.)

Still, since most of us here are gay, we understand what's it's like to recognize that our desires don't fit what is expected of us and the soul-searching process for where we belong in this hetero-centric culture.

In figuring out where you are, keep in mind that there are three intersecting spheres in understanding your sexuality:

• Sexual activity - this is what you like to do. You already have some data in this area to work with. But while this is important information to consider, it is often over emphasized. Straight men have been having pleasurable sex with each other since the first hunting party wandered the plains for months at a time. And gay men have gotten married to women and had families for just about as long. In order to explore one's sexual orientation, you have to look deeper than just how you can achieve orgasm.
• Love & Attraction - Who makes you stammer when they walk by; who do you fall in love with; who turns your head when they walk down the beach. This is a much better indication of where your orientation falls. And again - your orientation is not just gay or straight. It's more a cluster of feelings and experiences.
• Sexual Identity - This is how you identify yourself; the community to which you belong; in common terms - what team do you play for? This is subjective and part of your own self-discovery. It is also greatly influenced by your surrounding culture - the time and place in which you live. For example, even today someone in, say, Turkey might be happily married but still have sex with male friends occasionally. They would identify themselves as completely straight - because that fits inside the definition of straight in that culture. That same person in the US, would probably consider themselves bi-sexual. (And divorced once the wife finds out.)

This is the problem with conversations about straight and gay. One person is using the term gay to mean homosexual activity, while the other person is talking about identity or attraction. Arguments go in circles and people get frustrated because they try to squeeze these three elements into one big label of "gay" or "straight".

So, I probably haven't helped all that much - but at least this is a framework for asking your question.

On the more practical level take a look at the blog Straight Jock Talking. This is the third incarnation of Scott's blog that he has been doing for several years. (It keeps getting shut down by blog hosts.) Scott is a happily married straight guy, that loves a little hanky-panky on the side with good looking guy. He is not a know-it-all with all the answers, but he just honestly writes about what he does and does not like. He gets a lot of good conversation going in his posts. (Which he does at least once a day, if not more often - always accompanied by some very sexy pictures.)

Hang out there and read through some of that, and I think you might find some like-minded guys that asking the same questions that you are.

 

[Whisper]

This is getting quite challenging for my English skills, but I'll try...

Hi bambam4ever
I'm straight (??) woman who really loves watching man+man stuff. I also happens to like kissing and making out with girls, but I'm also in serious relationship with a man (and yes, he knows and doesn't mind). I prefer man, but I found some women extremely sexy and also beautiful, feminine men makes my head turn. So what I am, I don't know, but I also don't care. I am me.

What am I trying to say here is that first of all you are not alone and I hope you will find your answer. For me you sound like you are attracted to both genders, maybe you find certain people attractive no matter which one they are. Also, are you looking for just sex or more? Can you imagine yourself in serious relationship with a man or with a woman or...

*sigh* I'm not sure if I was able to answer anything helpful but I hope you at least understood my English

Good luck for your search for finding yourself

 

[bambam4evr]

To all those who gave me input: A Great Deal Of Thanks! I guess I was not looking to label myself so-much as to see that I am not totally abnormal ( now I know there are lots of bi people out there ) but I have yet to meet any in person who are like-minded, the only people I have talked with say that I am a gay in denial or something along those lines. I thank-you and all for the understanding and help I feel allot better knowing that there are people who do understand and I don't feel like quite a freak anymore. I will make more posts letting you all know how my life and adventures proceed and once again thank-you all for the inputs and great advice. It is So nice to know that there are people out there that are understanding and you have given me lots to think about and bolstered my confidence in myself.

 

[XMan101]

To all those who gave me input: A Great Deal Of Thanks! I guess I was not looking to label myself so-much as to see that I am not totally abnormal ( now I know there are lots of bi people out there ) but I have yet to meet any in person who are like-minded, the only people I have talked with say that I am a gay in denial or something along those lines. I thank-you and all for the understanding and help I feel allot better knowing that there are people who do understand and I don't feel like quite a freak anymore. I will make more posts letting you all know how my life and adventures proceed and once again thank-you all for the inputs and great advice. It is So nice to know that there are people out there that are understanding and you have given me lots to think about and bolstered my confidence in myself.

There are many Bi people here (to use a label) but there is nothing unusual about you at all.

I am a gay in denial is a common expression used so a person can be pigeon-holed, I've said before on here and will again, you like what you like. There are some "gays" who don't like anal sex at all, are they "straight in denial", well hardly, it's all a question of how you're made and what you like.

If you're anything like me you won't take a blind bit of notice, just carry on in the way that makes you happy You are certainly no freak!!

One other point, many like you may never admit it openly and quite possibly are thinking the same way as you have been, so you probably have met more that you realise