Parents don't dare to ask are you gay?

[Ainsey]

My mom is odd. (adoptive) She used to attend gay rights & women's rights parades all over the country. She knew I was gay even before I did. When I was a mere 13; she asked me; in front of my brother & sister; if I was gay. She already knew the true answer but said nothing when I lied to her & said "no". She knows first hand now, without the witness of my siblings.

 

[ritsuka]

All parents do not "want what is best for us," some are disgusting, abusive, homophobic sbags who fundamentally disrespect the rights of their children to be who they are. Frankly I don't think it's the parent's business to ask, but to shut the fuck up and accept it quickly once they've been told. Years after I told my egg-donor that I was gay, she would start sentences with "if you turn out to be gay..." If my ass, you stupid condescending bitch! I came out to her when I was 20, but even if I had been 12, nothing could justify her behavior.

Parents do not have the right to assume that the children they give birth to will be straight, nor does wider society.

 

[sjm0911]

I still havent told mine, just been coming out for the past few weeks to friends so far. I feel like my mom might have a clue, but my dad has no idea. Having a hard time telling them since my sister is also homosexual, and I feel that theyre depending on me to carry on a traditional family. Hopefully I'll get the courage to tell them sometime soon.

 

[Otage]

My moms gotta have a glue and it would make it so much easier if she would just ask. That would mean that she can accept the thing. I'm just wondering if parents - if they have a glue - are in some state for example "No, I'm just imaginating it. He's not gay" or "He tells if he wants and when he'is ready" etc. I mean does one even have to tell if parents don't see it? What's the point? Nobody is a open book even though they would come out. Everybody lies and acts different with different people. I don't do nasty jokes I do with friend when I'm visiting my parents etc. And a information they could bossiply guess or know and deny and they don't just ask, one would think that what does it matter then. I don't know, my thoughts are in mess. And don't just mean this thing. Circles around everything.

 

[topdog]

My moms gotta have a glue and it would make it so much easier if she would just ask...

In my opinion, if you want them to know then tell them.

You're an adult and it's your story to tell. A good parent knows that as their children grow up that they no longer have the right to know every detail about their kid's lives. They will let you speak up when you are ready to share.

Take responsibility for your decision to speak up or stay quiet.

 

[tyan]

my mother never ask me or even "talk to me on that way" but i believe my mother know what i am and who i am. a mother always know
:big hug:

 

[trencherman]

Observant mothers know. My mother claimed she could tell whether the baby she was carrying was a boy or a girl or the grey area that was me.

Grand mothers can tell too. An aunt could tell that one of my cousin's son is gay when he was just a toddler.

 

[jw4833]

As I may had mentioned on an earlier topic discussion in this regard, I remember when my mom confronted me about being gay. I was involved with an older partner whom although he was very handsome and charismatic, he was very insecure whenever I left the house for an substantial length of time. When my mom confronted me, she told me that what she noticed was that every time I would come to visit, he would call consistently throughout my visit which made her and other family members suspicious. Since her and I were alone in the house at the time and he had called; this prompted her to confront me.

 

[lhardwick69]

well the thing about parents asking--there is this stigma that if they ask if you are gay and you turn out not to be then they put this feeling in your mind they think you are and makes you begin wondering what you do to make them think you are gay


if you never bring a girl home and introduce her to them then they begin thinking you are gay--as for a lot of guys --they come out to their parents just because they want to be upfront and honest with their parents--I seen boys in their early teens come out and that is something I never would have done in my teens but yet I never really hid it from my parents I just had sex behind their backs like a lot of teens do whether it be gay sex or str8 sex--parents don't like the idea their kids are active so we sneak around and do it so the less they know the better

I did a lot of sneaking in those days some I even hid things that happened to me and those were hard times--hard to tell parents you had sex with someone that got too rough if you know what I mean

 

[Cerno]

Mothers usually know but they choose to ignore their feelings. My mom told me that when I came out. It's not easy for her though and it took YEARS.

 

[ihno]

Mothers usually know but they choose to ignore their feelings. My mom told me that when I came out. It's not easy for her though and it took YEARS.

My mother was totally surprised and didn't have a clue. My father knew before her and didn't tell her. She was so angry with him for not telling that she even moved out of the bedroom. That was fun, I can tell you.

Now she's very open with it. And she's still very happy that I'm not one of those feminie gays where every step is like a waltz.

 

[moosy]

I moved away from home to go to college and never went back. Never told them and they have never asked. I know they know and don't think it's a big deal either way.

 

[efimera]

with a conservative family for me that wasnt easy, but it's done

 

[cacc]

My parents would disown me in a heartbeat if they thought I was gay, they don't suspect that I am or at least have never asked, and I don't plan on bring up the subject any time soon.