JonnyFantastico
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I remember exactly where I was 10 years ago today...
It was "********* Day"; a popular block party that happens here annually. I was with some good friends of mine; laughing and just acting a damn fool. Everything was great: good music, loads of food, bumping into old friends and accomplices I hadn't seen in years. There we were; just all celebrating life.
And then, someone I knew walked passed me and said two words that took that great moment away:
"Aaliyah died."
At first, I just brushed it off; there's always the rumors of some celebrity having a baby, dying, getting married, whatever... and since it was loud as Hell outside, who had time to really hear that sort of news? But in the pit of my stomach, I knew something was... wrong. But it couldn't be that, right?
I had just saw her on BET's "106 & Park" a couple of days prior; laughing, smiling and talking about how she had to rush out right after the interview because she was flying to the Bahamas to shoot the video for "Rock The Boat". It was weird because I never really found myself watching that show, but because she was on there; I stuck around for the whole thing. Aaliyah had this spirit that sort of dragged you into her. There was unbound energy and heart to her. When she smiled, you smiled back, even if it was through the TV set. If you caught a glance of a performance, you couldn't go anywhere until it was over; even if you were in the middle of something else. Her music caught onto your ear quickly and you tapped your foot, nodded your head and sang along. There was at least one song that you knew from her, even if you weren't a fan.... and there aren't many who weren't.
Aaliyah had that something... and there was no way that something could be gone.
I went home that night and ran to the radio. I turned to a local hip-hop station here, Hot 97. They were playing one of her songs; I don't remember which one. I just thought, "OK, it's just a song"... and then, another followed... then another...
Then came the DJ... and the sadness in his voice told me all I needed to know. It was true before I even heard the words for myself:
Aaliyah had been killed in a plane crash.
It sounds so melodramatic, but time had actually stopped for me for that moment.
No. This isn't true. I grew up with her music, her magic, her smile... and she was only 22. How could this happen? Why did this happen?
I don't want to rehash the many stories you all have heard about the many cir
stances that followed in the couple of days afterward, nor the actual truth of how her very sad passing occurred. By this point, 10 years later, you've heard them all and you know them all. It doesn't make it any different... she's still not here.It was weird; I didn't expect to be so emotional when it came to her passing. Celebrities are people, too and unfortunately, people die. It's a factor of every life. And in those first few days, I didn't really react much. Maybe it was the shock of it all. Obviously, I felt a bit of sadness as a fan would. But it wasn't anything massive....
...until about a month or so afterward.
According to Wikipedia, the date itself would have to had been October 11, 2001 ("Access Granted" -- BET's version of "Making the Video-- aired the night before and I didn't watch it.) That morning, I caught the previous day's replay of "106th and Park" (they would replay the episode every weekday morning). I had awoken early that day and there was nothing else on. The night before, they had premiered the video of "Rock The Boat"; the very video Aaliyah had filmed literally hours before she passed on. For some reason, I couldn't bear to watch it; seeing her in her final moments (not to mention the eight others who died with her)... it was going to be too much.
Her brother, Rashad was the special guest to premiere her video. They spoke to him for a while; asked him how the family was doing, how he was doing... all common things, but there was so much sadness going on. The audience was completely silent (which was weird in itself; usually, you couldn't get a "106" crowd to even lower their cheers). He introduced the video and... I watched it.
"As we watch this vision of an angel"; the screen read, "we will remember her spirit flying free along with the eight others who were with her. They soar together with our eternal love."
The video kicks in and we see the silhouette of the beautiful star; walking along the beach... she leans down and... it's peaceful. Elegant. Amazing.
I won't walk you through the video, because you've probably all seen it countless times. I had heard the song many times by that point and found myself singing along... and then, something happened that I didn't realize. My face felt warm... but so did my heart. I started to cry. Actually, "cry" probably wouldn't come close to it. I sobbed. And I sobbed heavily.
Seeing her magic once more on my screen; watching her dance, her beauty, the subtlety of her moves... I finally was able to release the pain I had been holding onto for so long. I know many people are wondering, "You didn't cry on September 11th (which would've been a month prior), but you cried over the loss of a musician?"
Understand that yes, I did cry on that day, too... what happened to us as a nation was horrible and for a moment, I honestly thought I had lost some close people who worked in that area as well. But when I found out that all of my people were safe, it didn't feel like my own pain anymore and it would've felt selfish to me to make anything seem like it was OK to do so. I grieved with a nation and in truth, a world that probably had so much more sadness than myself. There were people that actually did lose family members and friends that day. All of my loved ones were safe... it wasn't my pain anymore.
I guess you can say that when Aaliyah died, it wasn't my pain, either... but if you all know how much music has been my constant in life, then you'll understand why I mourned for her so. I read that music is the biggest thing in a Libra's world and considering I am a Libra, you can see why it affects me so heavily.
Anyway, back to that day....
As the video ended, I remember the reaction from the studio. There was some sparse applause, as if they were wondering if it was OK to do so... then it grew deafening. I found myself clapping, too because I honestly thought it was a beautiful video and an amazing tribute to a young star that had left this world all too soon. As they cut back to the studio audience, I was glad to see I wasn't the only one emotionally affected by this: there were some members crying and even one of the hosts (Free of "A.J. & Free"; I miss them!) was as well. They thanked Rashad for coming and they said that they would do something they had never done before with a "New Joint of the Day": they would play it again.
And they did. And I watched. And I cried again.
Which brings me to today: 10 years to the day of her passing.
It's funny how much time flies when you're not really paying attention. I can't believe it's been that long. For the first few years afterward, I remember feeling so weird during the Summer. Every Aaliyah fan knows that it was usually during that time that we got an amazing track from her and you heard it all Summer long and it was always a good one. "Are You That Somebody" was a Summer track; so was "Try Again". Even if the song was released it a little earlier than June, it was going to be huge during those months.
I find myself wondering where she might be now, had she still been alive. As music has changed so much since then, it's hard to tell. There have been a couple of artists they've tried to push through as the new Aaliyah; especially one who is pretty much selling plastic as opposed to platinum nowadays (which I think she realized and decided to pave her own way... they even had her on Aaliyah's first record label). But you could never recreate something as special as she was. There was so much more to her than a couple of great tracks. There was spirit, heart and beauty that could never truly be matched.
If you throw on one of her songs today, chances are you'll see someone smile and sing along, nodding their head or tapping their foot. You'll probably also get their favorite moment of her. It's because she was truly "more than a woman". The name Aaliyah itself means "the highest, most exalted one" and how could you ever hope to beat that or forget what it was? Perhaps that's why I mourned for her so strongly.
Perhaps I realized there would never be another one like her.
Rest in peace, Aaliyah Dana Haughton. You are forever missed.
- Jonny Fantastico
think its a good time to remember..lol
