A Title can't Describe This Thread.

[josh_the_hot_boy]

You know sometimes I think about what I want out of life in a relationship sort of way. I think do I wanna take care of someone or do I wanna be taken care of and no I don't mean financially or psychically. I mean its kinda like do I wanna be the knight or do I want the knight to protect me. How do you see yourself?

 

[jw4833]

When I came out as a gay man, my first two boyfriends were older and they believed that because of my youthful look, they wanted to take care of me because it made them feel secure about the relationship. In fact, I was working in a Fortune 500 company during the first relationship and he insisted that I quit my job because he wanted to take care of me. The second boyfriend was the same as well. Both of these guys were known in the media/entertainment industry and they were both closeted gay men who had appeal to a large female audience. Therefore, discretion was of an important factor to both of them.

However, the third guy I got with was my boss at huge corporation that is nationally known. I had mentioned this in one of my earlier post. He was well educated and although he always did nice things for me, he encouraged me to be all that I can be. He saw potential in me that I did not at that time. But he was also a protector and was very adamant about protecting me to the up most because I was recognized as his "Baby Boy".

With that being said, I've become very independent and although I don't mind being there emotionally, physically and financially for someone that I truly care for, however, I would encouraged my partner to become his own individual and help him focus on his strengths.

 

[josh_the_hot_boy]

I'm not referring to supporting someone in a financial sense.

 

[Otage]

I have thought somenthing like that too. Like the question, would I rather love, or to be loved. And also I have thought also the exact same question josh_the_hot_boy is thinking. I couldn't decide. And more importantly, I don't even know why I thinked those questions. Maybe they are important in some way I can't really see clearly

 

[Tjerk12]

It could be knightly to feel less noble and be of equal status, just with different qualities.

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

How about you being you and him being him and both engage in mutual affection for each other... Really did you really need to make it so complicated? I don't see why one should be more knightly than the other, just go for an equal ground relationship and you'll see how non-complicated it is. In my couple "I WAS THE WEALTHY ONE" now we are both wealthy financially and from having each other. I take care of him in my way and he takes care of me in his way. If I'm sick, he's there for me and vice and versa. When someone installs a superiority level in a relationship you can be sure there will be problems. Mostly in this era where equality in a couple took over the so machismo "I'm da ma'an".

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

I have thought somenthing like that too. Like the question, would I rather love, or to be loved. And also I have thought also the exact same question josh_the_hot_boy is thinking. I couldn't decide. And more importantly, I don't even know why I thinked those questions. Maybe they are important in some way I can't really see clearly

This means if you're seriously thinking that, you're just not ready for a real side by side relationship where one is loved as much as the other love. I don't see the point in a relationship of one being the lover and the other being the lovee... you get together because both of you love something about the other.

 

[HotDougBunz]

Respectfully submitted, you will never find success in a relationship that lasts if the only focus is on who takes care of whom. To "go the distance" of long/longer terms you care about one another to a satisfying level for your heart. It also does not stop there. You have families and they too need care from time to time. You do the things you must because it is the right thing! This sometimes can lead to a compromise of your own lifestyle but you are helping your PARTNER. That is the key. When both parties participate this is why you last. One does for one and the other covers other bases.

As Tjerk12 noted, "It could be knightly to feel less noble and be of equal status, just with different qualities." This is pivotal to a loving relationship. Not sex, hot body, big dick or a wallet size.

These are words spoken from someone who is in the 18th year of my partnership. We are equal in our hearts. Nothing else matters.

 

[RefixnarcisM]

Well aside from what the relationship should be, I like to be taken care. I'm quite a rebellious, tenacious yet childish person sometimes, so my mate should be able to tell me straight if I'm being too much or so, still, he had to have a realistic reason for his statement. And no need of yelling or degrading me when he tell me that I wrong. That kinda guy who makes me crawling lol

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

Well aside from what the relationship should be, I like to be taken care. I'm quite a rebellious, tenacious yet childish person sometimes, so my mate should be able to tell me straight if I'm being too much or so, still, he had to have a realistic reason for his statement. And no need of yelling or degrading me when he tell me that I wrong. That kinda guy who makes me crawling lol

:thinking: Then from my understanding, you can't realize by yourself when enough is enough? Or you need someone to hold your hand each step of the way... that's not a mate you describe here, it's substitution to your parents... only difference he gets to fuck you legally.

 

[RefixnarcisM]

Well maybe I try to find a 'parent' or big brother figure in the person that I like. Not always guide me all the time, just...giving second opinion if I need to.

 

[AleXXX UK]

I dont like such unbalanced relationships. It's like there is a giver and a receiver. One person always holds the power. Those types of people are those who are needy and those who like to dominate.

How about a partnership of equals? That way you both have to keep working to keep each other happy and no one else depends on anyone else. That means youre together because you want to be together not because you depend on each other for money, sex or companionship.

I'd rather have a true life partner than a live in prostitute.

 

[RefixnarcisM]

Well everyone has their own 'dream' criteria for their relationship. Its not always work that way though. Then again, I already said 'if I need to' if not then it can be called yours 'ideal relationship'. Imo