how do u know that u are gay, lesbian or bi?

[tyan]

I never ever thought about having anything more with a woman than friendhship. I know I'm gay because I love guys, I am sexually aroused by guys, I dream about guys and I want to have a loving boyfriend more than anything in the world.
Even though guys are the ones who can make me incredibly mad, I love them. Can't live with them, but can't live without them either.

:big hug: thats great.

thank u mate
:thumbs up:

 

[tyan]

Pls. don't tend to paint black and white, there are also much facets in between.

:heart:
agree

there is so many much facets betewan "black and white"
:big hug:

 

[pinklee1]

why try to fit into any category?...be happy that you do not live in many of the African/muslim countries where there are very harsh penalties if you engage in sex with another person of the same sex. and thank god that I am not a lesbian...blurk

 

[jyotib]

Hi,
My answer would be very simple - I know what I am. Neither I'm confused nor I'm ashamed.
Actually I never was confused about my sexual preference. Although when I first realized that I was attracted towards men & men only I was not aware of the term 'homosexual' or the label 'gay' but I was not confused. Instead I was rather amused & enjoyed looking at hot men relishing my sexuality (I still do that, because I'm in my late twenties & hope to do so for the next 80 to 100 years).
I'm proud of my sexual orientation & taste. So I can boldly say "I am what I am".

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

Hi,
My answer would be very simple - I know what I am. Neither I'm confused nor I'm ashamed.
Actually I never was confused about my sexual preference. Although when I first realized that I was attracted towards men & men only I was not aware of the term 'homosexual' or the label 'gay' but I was not confused. Instead I was rather amused & enjoyed looking at hot men relishing my sexuality (I still do that, because I'm in my late twenties & hope to do so for the next 80 to 100 years).
I'm proud of my sexual orientation & taste. So I can boldly say "I am what I am".

God Yahweh said the very same thing LOL "I am what I am" Praise the you )... but it is the right attitude... be who you want to be who you are meant to be and that is that...

 

[peter123]

God Yahweh said the very same thing LOL "I am what I am" Praise the you )... but it is the right attitude... be who you want to be who you are meant to be and that is that...

Yep, what are categories in this context for? Some know what they are in the one or the other direction and others are in between
... so maybe they can enjoy more? or are more in doubts?

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

Yep, what are categories in this context for? Some know what they are in the one or the other direction and others are in between
... so maybe they can enjoy more? or are more in doubts?

I am well placed and well trained to categorize people in group of societies and sub-group... but although I understand the use of societal categorization, there's no need for it in sexuality to label oneself because a straight man who likes underage girls... is it more acceptable than a gay man who likes underage boys... which one is worst... the gay one because his feeling for same sex isn't normal or the straight one who has interest for girls but very young ones... we all agree that both are fucked and sick people... but funny enough you can be sure that due to society's categorization of people, group, behaviors and so on and so forth... "gay" is categorize as deviant behavior and therefore a gay pedophile is seen as worst than a straight pedophile... but a pedophile is a pedophile nonetheless, no matter his/her orientation... but that's just to show how societal categorization can be very confusing sometime.

 

[peter123]

I am well placed and well trained to categorize people in group of societies and sub-group... but although I understand the use of societal categorization, there's no need for it in sexuality to label oneself because a straight man who likes underage girls... is it more acceptable than a gay man who likes underage boys... which one is worst... the gay one because his feeling for same sex isn't normal or the straight one who has interest for girls but very young ones... we all agree that both are fucked and sick people... but funny enough you can be sure that due to society's categorization of people, group, behaviors and so on and so forth... "gay" is categorize as deviant behavior and therefore a gay pedophile is seen as worst than a straight pedophile... but a pedophile is a pedophile nonetheless, no matter his/her orientation... but that's just to show how societal categorization can be very confusing sometime.

Me too lol.


but you are right, categorization never hits individuals

 

[lhardwick69]

I suck dick and get fucked in the ass I guess that makes me gay--I just don't see myself as gay I see myself as a guy that likes sex with other men

 

[tyan]

^^^ thanks guys for share

but some people just need some "prove" from it self that he's gay. my friend for example, he's getting married last year but now he's said to me "gee, i have no idea why i'am doing it"

 

[tyan]

why try to fit into any category?...be happy that you do not live in many of the African/muslim countries where there are very harsh penalties if you engage in sex with another person of the same sex. and thank god that I am not a lesbian...blurk

the problem is i live in Indonesia, the biggest muslim population in the world, but people here much more liberal i mean, they almost never "attack" or "do something stupid" to gay person. except for some "radical group".
the only one province here who banned homosexuality is Aceh province with law punishment. homosexual group only banned by some local law and tradition (based on religion).

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

the problem is i live in Indonesia, the biggest muslim population in the world, but people here much more liberal i mean, they almost never "attack" or "do something stupid" to gay person. except for some "radical group".
the only one province here who banned homosexuality is Aceh province with law punishment. homosexual group only banned by some local law and tradition (based on religion).

Alex and I went to Indonesia three times in 6 years... and you are right they will rarely attack as long as one doesn't show it too much... they may know and acknowledge one is gay... but they won't do anything if there's no exaggeration for the showing

 

[gvd_rm]

I agree

^^^^^
thank u guys for share in here.

i trying to be more "open" for who i am, and what i am. but its so scare when i face my family and friend. actually they still have no idea about what i am
:blushing:




hmm no, not really

thank u so much

..

 

[tyan]

^^
thank u mate

Alex and I went to Indonesia three times in 6 years... and you are right they will rarely attack as long as one doesn't show it too much... they may know and acknowledge one is gay... but they won't do anything if you're there's no exaggeration for the showing

yeah u are right Indonesian people really open to "a new person", if u "show off" your self with your gayness, people just looking at you, no attack by homophobia, or "yelling FAGsh**" or something like that.
thank u so much. i happy to hear that. perhaps next visit u can call me, then i will be your nice guide here

 

[bwonderrednow]

the problem is i live in Indonesia, the biggest muslim population in the world, but people here much more liberal i mean, they almost never "attack" or "do something stupid" to gay person. except for some "radical group".
the only one province here who banned homosexuality is Aceh province with law punishment. homosexual group only banned by some local law and tradition (based on religion).

I courted a Muslim before. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. He was hot and cold about his homosexuality. He was so uncertain about what he wanted. When he wasn't blowing kisses at me and telling me he loved me, he was telling me to repent or read the Koran. Almost everyone in his family, except for his little boy, shunned me and told him to stop talking to me because I was gay. At one point he started telling me there were no gay people in his country and if I were to visit, I would get beaten to death. His family couldn't believe that there were openly gay people in America and attributed it to one of the many reasons why Americans are going to hell in a hand basket. They seemed to absolutely hate America and the Americans period. :rofl: He was a cool guy, but I felt like he was torn between his heart and his religion. Muslims are very religious. I respect that, but I very much didn't have time to deal with the hatred and bigotry and the indecisiveness from him, his family, or his society. Doesn't matter anyway because he left me before I could tell him that.

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

I courted a Muslim before. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. He was hot and cold about his homosexuality. He was so uncertain about what he wanted. When he wasn't blowing kisses at me and telling me he loved me, he was telling me to repent or read the Koran. Almost everyone in his family, except for his little boy, shunned me and told him to stop talking to me because I was gay. At one point he started telling me there were no gay people in his country and if I were to visit, I would get beaten to death. His family couldn't believe that there were openly gay people in America and attributed it to one of the many reasons why Americans are going to hell in a hand basket. They seemed to absolutely hate America and the Americans period. :rofl: He was a cool guy, but I felt like he was torn between his heart and his religion. Muslims are very religious. I respect that, but I very much didn't have time to deal with the hatred and bigotry and the indecisiveness from him, his family, or his society. Doesn't matter anyway because he left me before I could tell him that.

Well you were better off... this is not just a Muslim issue... I saw this kind of behavior in many religious people that are gay but fight against their nature. Did I ever heard that one often - "There's no gay in my country." Yeah fucking right! Gays are like Chinese, they're everywhere ; you can't just walk without having some guy who'd turn his head faking to look at a girl when in fact they're looking at the dude walking next to her. In all countries I went and I've visited over 16 countries in the world, some Muslim, some Christian and some other anti-gay religious countries... I'm black so they're all believe that most black people are all about women... but I'm not... yeah I am bisexual but if you bring me a dude that looks good "the heck with the girl" and in many of those countries if you have learned some international codes when walking in public and see that the very Muslim guy with his long beard walking with his peers turn at you and nod the head... if you nod back you've just made him understand that you're made of the same leather and chances are he'll part from his peers and you'll end up sucking his dick in a dark alley... and yet he's a very convinced Muslim. As a former escort... I'll tell you guys that 35% of my client were Muslim... YEP and I'm not making that up just to make a point, it's actually true.

Religion doesn't rule over your nature or your genetic and it will never do. You can believe in god as much as you want... but your subconscious as a gay man will always win you over and your god can't do shit about it... in fact he/she/it never does shit about anything anyway. I had Muslim dudes and to some I wake them up... you can still go about your desire without condemning yourself... god never said anything about gays... the bible, the Qu'ran did; and those books - call them holy if you want but I sure know that they are printed by the very same press that print Playboy magasine were written by men, archaic, egocentric, misogyn, ignorant, violent, stupid men.

 

[tyan]

JakeAndAlex and alex right

thank u guys. its really make me feel better to be "my self" here. i started to think to have a boyfriend now. please pray for me . in fact, i close to a super handsome man. hehehe

 

[eddie16]

It`s not like you wake up one morning and have an epiphany and realice that you`re gay, bi or straight, I think it`s a process, the same way straights start to feel things for a woman and eventually they start to understand that they are atracted to womans and fantasize about them in a sexual manner.
it`s the same way for gays, except that we experience those tings and feelins about other men, in my case I realice that I was gay when I was in high school.

 

[topdog]

...I think it`s a process, the same way straights start to feel things for a woman and eventually they start to understand that they are attracted to women and fantasize about them in a sexual manner...

But then the difference is that straight kids grow up in a culture that mirrors and affirms what they are feeling. Parents look forward to seeing their child's first school crush, first girlfriend, first formal date, etc.

They gay child is shut out of these experiences, unless they are so sure of themselves that they can say "I want to date the cute boy!" Very few are so confident that they can risk losing friends and family at a time in their life when they need both.

But as you mature and become your own person, you can take more risks.

I think that the "am I gay?" question becomes even more confusing, because it can refer to different things, like sexual attraction, sexual experience, culture, and identifying yourself as part of the gay "tribe". I agree with the others who have advised not getting hung up on the label.

Maybe the key is just to be honest with yourself. Are you attracted to men? Do you enjoy sex with men? Are you attracted to women? Do you enjoy sex with women? Those are not mutually exclusive things. Just be honest about how you feel today. You don't have to sign up for a lifetime membership in the "Gay Club" the first time you are sexually attracted to a man.

 

[Cerno]

I just happened to know Im gay. I was 13. My puberty kicked in and suddenly I was more aware of my penis. I started thinking my male classmates. It's all automatic! No gay porn and no perverted friend to teach me. I'm just gay and I know it.