josh_the_hot_boy
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Its a long story but I just don't like this holiday.
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I Hate this holiday.
- Thread starter josh_the_hot_boy
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josh_the_hot_boy
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I live in Colorado, USA. It just brings up emotions I doing want to deal with. Period.
Well...i'm not a fan of this holiday because my dad died when I was 12 years old and I was very close with my dad. There has never been no one else in my life to take his place. Although, my late partner's brother always like for me to celebrate with his wife and children and he always ask for me to call him "Big Daddy"..lol
josh_the_hot_boy
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I never had happy memories with this holiday.
zucchero81
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A lot of people here know how you feel, self included.
josh_the_hot_boy
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The words father and caring won't ever come in the same sentence in my lifetime.
R
R_ver
Guest
cheers up! 
josh_the_hot_boy
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Dreaming of him rotting in hell makes me feel better.
brmstn69
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My real father is rotting in Hell, and guess what?
It doesn't fell any better or worse than when he was alive...
havocs
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That's true brmstn69, it is best to try and make peace with yourself and move on with your life. If you are no longer in the confinement you were in before you owe it to yourself to be free and find happiness where you can. It is bad enough that you were treated badly in the past, dont do it to yourself in the present.
josh_the_hot_boy
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I wasn't treated at all I was ignored like I never existed period.
I can actually understand this feeling. My father was almost never there for me.
We almost never talk and when he does say something, it is only to tell me how horrible and pathetic I am... And he is basically the only family I have left.
The best thing is that he doesn't even know that I'm gay...If he would, he would probably want to kill me....
I don't know about your situation, Josh, but I understand your feelings and hope that your are able to live your life to the fullest, despite your painful memories.
I don't know if my words are of any use but I hope I could cheer you up at least a little bit :thumbs up:
We almost never talk and when he does say something, it is only to tell me how horrible and pathetic I am... And he is basically the only family I have left.
The best thing is that he doesn't even know that I'm gay...If he would, he would probably want to kill me....
I don't know about your situation, Josh, but I understand your feelings and hope that your are able to live your life to the fullest, despite your painful memories.
I don't know if my words are of any use but I hope I could cheer you up at least a little bit :thumbs up:
josh_the_hot_boy
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Its painful cause I have no memories. I've never even seen a photo. All I know is he tried to deny I was his and my mom had to take him to court to prove I was his. Makes you feel so unwanted. All the while watching my half brother visit his father year after year. Talking about all the things his father did for him or got him. Having to see everything I never got or would never have.
bigsal
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It is difficult to be able to express my feelings on this issue.
My "relationship" with my father was non-existent, except when there was to lift up the hands.
But I would have also agreed to suffer beatings if he had also tried a bit of affection for me.
The only times when I felt I had a father was when he managed to beat me, but luckily I was fast and my mother was ready to defend myself. Unfortunately she could not always be present.
Never a caress, never a word of comfort or support, if not to criticize everything that I did.
In all the time that I lived with him, apart from the long period of indifference (it was the best time for me), has never hidden that for he I was an uncomfortable and annoying
Dear Josh, believe me, and I say this in all sincerity, I would have preferred who him to go immediately after they are born. Certainly I would have had a much happier childhood.
But this is just my thoughts. Not all think the same way.
I have many other things to add, but it is better to stop here.
My "relationship" with my father was non-existent, except when there was to lift up the hands.
But I would have also agreed to suffer beatings if he had also tried a bit of affection for me.
The only times when I felt I had a father was when he managed to beat me, but luckily I was fast and my mother was ready to defend myself. Unfortunately she could not always be present.
Never a caress, never a word of comfort or support, if not to criticize everything that I did.
In all the time that I lived with him, apart from the long period of indifference (it was the best time for me), has never hidden that for he I was an uncomfortable and annoying
Dear Josh, believe me, and I say this in all sincerity, I would have preferred who him to go immediately after they are born. Certainly I would have had a much happier childhood.
But this is just my thoughts. Not all think the same way.
I have many other things to add, but it is better to stop here.
josh_the_hot_boy
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It just hard cause its one thing to not know what its like to have a father inn your life but its another to not have one and have a constant reminder that you don't and what your missing (referring to my half brothers father being there and me seeing all the things that my father never did). I never had a father and my brothers relationship with his father was a constant reminder of that.
