Looks,

[josh_the_hot_boy]

I guess my question is. Is physical attraction just as important as emotional/personality attraction.

 

[topdog]

By "looks" do you mean beauty? Or just a combination of physical characteristics that turns you on?

 

[josh_the_hot_boy]

I mean looks as far as what a person finds attractive. Some people say "it doesn't matter how great their personality is if I don't find them attractive its not gonna happen." and other people say or clam "as long as their personality is great It doesn't matter to me what they look like."

 

[MaximumT]

Nothing is black and white in this world. Attraction is a complex thing, and I believe that it's a combination of both. I believe it's hard to find someone attractive from just their personality. There has to be some kind of physical attraction as well. Although physical attraction is important, in the long run, the personality is a vital factor in a relationship. It would be hard to stay together with a jerk for a long time.

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

It depends on for what purpose they are being judged. If you want a male model to grace the cover of DNA, then it probably doesn't matter whether he's a total jerk if he looks good. If you want someone to share the rest of your life with, then looks become secondary.

Some people say that when they start a live-in relationship with someone, it hardly matters how gorgeous looking they are - after a couple of weeks you don't notice that anymore. You notice things like whether they wash up their dishes after themselves, that sort of thing.

 

[HettoreConti]

Ideally, I would love to be with someone with the wits, the sharpness, the experience and intelligence of Stephen Fry and the looks of Paddy O'Brien. (Though, Fry is quite the looker if you ask me)

But, back to reality... someone who isn't a jerk would be fine by me. I cannot be bothered to be with a rose without a scent. A handsome man without a mind or any virtues whatsoever.

 

[josh_the_hot_boy]

There are people out there who say that looks are irrelevant and they say oh I have a great personality but no one wants to go out with me cause I'm not what they find physically attractive. Look if I walk into a coffee shop I'm not going to walk up to a stranger and be like great personality let go to dinner. I've never met the guy I don't know what his personality is like. I'm walking up to him cause I find him physically attractive.

 

[Sinnerr]

And about who is this question? Potentional boyfriend, or just friend or ... (a politican, or ... an employee...) ???
Also second poll possibility has two various follow-up branches:
1. Look is more important than personality
or
2. Personality is more important than look

So. In boyfriend case I sincerely admit that it's cold hard truth. Or even look is more important. Just because first contact between two persons is visual (except anonymos internet forums, chats etc.). I can't imagine I'd start conversation in bar with someone who doesn't seem attractive to me. Althought I know that many pretty boys are so silly and superficial It's just natural behavior in this situation. I would say here works body next body language next easy words like "Nice T-shirt" or "What do you drink?". Nothing intelectual cos brain has not blood enought at this moment. It's start of cognizance.
In next phases is personality already important of course. And also inteligence, opinions, behavior in ordinary situations and so on. Future plans too. My first relationship failed bacause of one thing which was not much important trifle for my ex, but absolutely essetial for me.

In case of friends I don't care about their visage. Well if some of my friend would looks unkempt I'd diplomaticaly advise him/her what to do for looking better. But It haven't happend yet.

I try to see people by their character as much as is possible. But boyfriend has to be also sexy and sexy character doesnt exist.

 

[redbones111]

Looks matter. It's what draws people to you in the first place. After that barrier is passed, then you can pick apart someone's personality and go from there.

You just have to remember that looks aren't everything.

 

[ezekiel]

Look is the first important thing, the first contact is all about look. Then the personality become important : i can't stay with someone if he is just good looking .

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

Alex and I definitely started off as physical boast from both of us, I was amazed by his young looking face and his blondness, and he was excited also by my young looking face despite the fact that I am 10 years older than he is. Once naked he definitely was more into all my body features and I was also very much into his amazing tiny but muscular butt cheeks and oh my god what a beautiful penis he had (and still have)... through the years after 2 years of purely physical attraction, personality took over his beautifulness, he is a shy dude, not very sure of himself even though he is very talented and he fell in love with the scholar that I was and still am. We went out for our physical attribute, we stayed together for our mutual good faith attitude between eachother and we married out of pure love for one another. But yeah first thing was definitely his look and mine... that would be seriously lying to say that it was purely because I loved his attitude because the first day we met he was so drunk he puked on me... not really a good start but he had this so sorry puppy look in his face he make me melt right on the spot even though I had everything he ate and drank on the last hour on me LOL. He still apologizes when we talk about it and we're talking about 6 years from now LOL. I still love him a lot and still love his body a lot.

 

[R_ver]

i voted 1
i judge the books by its cover
i dont know what is love, so first priority is looks =P

 

[777]

I chose the "cold hard truth" because looks matter in that way that there has to be something I like. For me it's not about the face or body, but the whole package and the way they present themselves. Shyness is a turn on for me. I sometimes get caught on details too, like if a man has a really good looking nose it doesn't matter how the rest of him looks like if he has a personality to add to that

 

[c750dt]

Personality is only so much if you can't stand looking at a person. Looks are only so much if you can't stand listening to a person. Both only go so far if the person smells bad. Everything is important.

Also, for me personally, it's a matter of standards; I don't hold people to a higher standard than I hold myself to. Wanting to have somebody who looks good, I have an obligation to make sure I too look good.

A lot of working out and careful consideration given to the clothing I wear, the way I wear my hair and the accessories I may don in addition to generally clean habits make my appearance pleasant. I only think it's fair that if somebody wants me, they put in the same efforts.

Also, it's worth pointing out that you don't see very many attractive people saying looks don't matter. If they didn't matter, they themselves wouldn't look good.

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

i dont know what is love, so first priority is looks =P

Oh stop that already You know what is love since you are yourself a loving individual, I remember a dude posting how much he loves kid and would like to have some. Love is a chemical reaction that happens in your brain, the main substance that creates love is oxytocin and serotonin, those are the two primary protein that creates that feeling of love, desire is created by endomorphin. so you may not know what is love as you try to make us believe... but you know the feeling very well. Looks is always a priority no matter who ever says that it isn't and no matter how they are trying to disguise it in paraphrases and poetic sonnet. Let me quote one of my sonnet I gave to Alex in French at our wedding:

Tes cheveux blond, tel les champs de ble de mon enfance.
Your blond hairs, reminds me the wheat field of my childhood
Tes yeux pairs, l'un est brun, l'autre est bleu ils representent pour moi l'agencement et la diversite de ton infini amour, je me perd dans ton regard.
Your eyes, one is brown, the other is blue are for me the diversity of your love for me, I lost myself in your deep look
J'hummecte la fleur qui se leve a l'aube
I smells flower when you wake up in the morning
Je farrandole l'enfant qui sommeille en toi
I sing children song for the kid that sleeps inside you
Ton corps corps est mon royaume
Your body is my kingdom
Ton esprit es mon dieu
Your spirit is my god

*Have you notice that I mostly picture his physical form first... then his mind. I love Alex like crazy but his appearance still have an important role and I make reference of it even when I don't want to.

Of course there was more and yes it made Alex realy realy cry... and many of the audience too, but this whole text was the result of a massive intoxication that one call LOVE. And you sure know what it is because love doesn't come by someone else it starts with you. Learn to love yourself first and god (that's your brain) will do the rest. Not only bees are able to send pheromonial signals... human beings can too

 

[R_ver]

I remember a dude posting how much he loves kid and would like to have some

i said that... but a love to kids and love to lover is different right? :thinking:

 

[japassampa]

I think looks are very important (which sucks, since I'm not great at that department), but the personality is a bit more important. Looks matter more when looking for casual fun, but depending on the guy's personality, I might lose interest quite quickly.
Brains are quite important to me, too...

 

[Casanova]

i said that... but a love to kids and love to lover is different right? :thinking:

The nature of the love may be different, but once you have the capacity to love, whether it be platonic, dispassionate, romantic, or hospitable experiencing the various genres of love shouldn't be difficult. But let's save that for another discussion.



As for the question posted by the OP. Looks and personality go hand in hand.. I never date someone strictly based on looks.. I need someone whom I can talk to, and can make me laugh and doesn't have the persona of a bollard. But he also needs to be visually attractive/stimulating for I am flesh and blood after all! And let's be honest, looks are usually the first thing to catch your attention (in most cases)

Another way to look at things is this.. I like a guy who is pretty sexual, and experimental in bed and you sure as hell won't find that in looks.. this falls under personality, so personality does have a very strong impact on the object of your desire. Before anyone objects with this, take a look at the example of Cody Cummings who is visually attractive, but many have lost interest in him due to the character he portrays.

So looks are pretty relevant... not as relevant as all the other attributes that make up a person, but it is relevant to an extent. But this is all based on your priorities, whether you are interested in short-term relationships, long-term companionship or one night stands, etc.

 

[josh_the_hot_boy]

All I'm saying is that no matter how great his personality is if I don't find him physically attractive Its not going to work. Is that a bad thing?

 

[Casanova]

Actually, I think I must've been misunderstood.. I'm not disagreeing with you or saying it's bad. In fact I quite agree that physical attractiveness is extremely vital, I'm just expressing that both are very important if they are going to work in the long run especially personality (from a long term commitment PoV)

If I trace my dating history, there was only one guy who was not really my type (looks wise) but had an outstanding personality, and no matter how much I got to know him he never grew more physically attractive, just his personality was magnetic. Did things work out? No. It didn't because in the end, I just felt like I was simply talking to a really really good friend rather than a sexual partner.

I've also interacted online with a guy who was visually my type and tbh I'd climb him like a tree, but when I got to know him more, he was rather cocksure to the point where I simply avoided him because personality is also important to me.

Therefore I rather a person who has both, if someone has one and lacks the other I have no interest in them be it looks or personality