Next Steps... Where to start?

[xHammerx]

So if you've read my introduction post http://www.gayheaven.org/threads/newbie-just-starting-out.649713/
you'll know that I've been thinking about gay sex for a long while.. around 25 years or more I would think. But I've never yet acted on those many, many thoughts and fantasies other than in a lot solo play. However it's got to the point where I really feel I need to experience some of the things i've been thinking about but I'm just not sure how to go about it.

I've thought maybe the best way forward is to start with some form of virtual experience, a herbal chat with someone about it, masturbation session or something like that before moving on to actually meeting someone for some initial mutual masturbation abd pleasuring perhaps?

Can anyone whose been there offer any advice on what I can do to begin to explore these things. As my post header states. Where do I start?

Thanks.

 

[dargelos]

When this question has been asked in previous years, there were answers saying that some escorts specialise in this sort of thing, showing beginers the ropes, though not literaly. Because they do it regularly they learn how to make it really easy for you. I don't know where to look for such a sex worker, perhaps someone reading this knows something. And plenty of cash is needed, these boys have bills to pay.

 

[xHammerx]

Hadn't considered an escort but thanks for the idea, maybe a bit pricey though I would think.

Just want to find a way to move forward with this and finally get to experience it rather then just think about it.

 

[dargelos]

Yes, if he's good he won't be cheap, and vice versa.
How about a sauna? It takes a bit of courage to walk up to the door for the first time but once inside, if it is a well run place it will be a safe environment. It is perfectly normal for nervous sauna goers to just sit in the dark porn cinema room and watch what goes on. Men will certainly come on to you but it is also normal, even for seasoned users, to politely decline their advances until such time as you are feeling relaxed enough to go further. That might be after an hour or it might be after four hours or maybe on your next visit a week later.
When you have invited a man back home to your room where you live it can be hard to get rid of him if things are not going well. The great advantage of a commercial environment is that you can reject anybody anytime, without needing a reason, whenever you feel things are going too fast.

 

[thombell]

Let me second the escort idea. Your post doesn't say whether you are single or not. If you are not single, then it's even more of a reason why you should see a "professional" rather than a "civilian." Best to be upfront too with whoever you play with. That said, assuming you are not betraying any promises you've made to any significant other in your life, go for it. Life is to be lived.

My personal advice however is that rather than just thinking about this in a "sex" context, you should go for dating a guy (assuming you are single). That will tell you a lot more than a simply sexual experience with someone. But for some people, learning what that means could be threatening. All I can say is be honest with yourself. And life live.

 

[thombell]

One other comment - when I was coming out I had my first sexual experience with a guy I met at a bar well out of town (I was away on business). I also told him I had never done anything with a guy before. He could not have been a better first experience - totally understanding, let me go at my own pace, and made sure the experience was a great one for me. And it was. The moral of the story: Honesty is the best policy.