talking online

[wardell]

so I have been talking to this guy online we both like horror movies he contacted me first but all I get out of him are 1 to 3 word response here is our conversation
HIM: hey
ME:hi, how are you? I saw you profile you like horror movies that's cool, so do I. I've been looking for a good horror movie do you have any suggestions
HIM:Nightmare on Elm street
ME: original or remake
HIM: original
ME:that's a good one. I have not seen it in a long time. I just watched the leprechaun movies with Warwick Davis but you can't really call them horror movies can you? have you seen the new IT it trailer? I hope it's good what are some others you like?
HIM:Critters
ME: I never heard of that. whats it about?
HIM: Google it

is it just me or does he come a cross as rude and cold? I feel like he is not even trying or that he does not even want to talk should I ask him or just let it go or stop talking all together. I'm new at this so I need advice
thanks

 

[haiducii]

ME: I never heard of that. whats it about?
HIM: Google it

Short replies usually indicate that a conversation is coming to an end. A guy who is interested will be eager to talk to you...even if it’s about nothing important. Well, that's just my opinion.

 

[wardell]

if he's not interested then why did he contact me

 

[ihno]

is it just me or does he come a cross as rude and cold? I feel like he is not even trying or that he does not even want to talk should I ask him or just let it go or stop talking all together. I'm new at this so I need advice
thanks

I agree to haiducii, short answers are an indicator that it's not a good time.
Next time just ask him if it's a good time or not. Many people forget that and expect the other person to be "available" only because there's a green light next to their name.

But they might not be "available".

He may be busy with something else or having two conversations at the same time, so his answers are short. Maybe he's masturbating.

He may not want to offend you and gives you only short answers.

So there can always be other reasons too. Just ask about it.

if he's not interested then why did he contact me

Maybe it's his character. Anyway, ask him about it.

 

[slimjim]

I agree with what haiducii & inho have said - the other question is whether English is his first language? If not he may not feel too confident in giving longer responses.

 

[wardell]

I dont know about the available part we have never been online at the same time. when I send him a message it takes him a day or two to get back. maybe he is just shy if so how do I get him to open up more

 

[ihno]

I dont know about the available part we have never been online at the same time. when I send him a message it takes him a day or two to get back. maybe he is just shy if so how do I get him to open up more

With honesty.

Tell him how you feel about his short messages and that they give you the impression that you may disturb him.

 

[haiducii]

maybe he is just shy if so how do I get him to open up more

When the guy is shy you have no choice but to be patient.

If you accept him as the shy type, when he feels like opening up then he will feel ok opening up with you, cause you are an accepting person.

From my personal experiences, I can tell you that shy people are more likely to open up during a face to face conversation than talking online.

 

[wardell]

I sent him message asking if every thing is ok and said I get the impression you don't want to talk he replied back say all is good then gave me his number so we can text but my phone is not working so he gave me his PlayStation name and I send him a friend request and he accepted but now he will not talk to me. so I don't know. why does this always happen to me I find a guy then he just stops talking to me for no reason.

 

[Otage]

Cause that's what usually happens. I don't think I have any online "penpals" with whom the conversation has lasted for very long. Usually it's just conversation about some common interest, and when that is done, the conversation usually dies naturally. It's quite taxing to talk about everything with some one you haven't never met, like day to day stuff etc.

With some who it has lasted, it has started very strong evolving around some common interest (with me it's usually music), and then after the active phase turned into 'lets chat once a month or so'. Conversations that don't spark up even at beginning has little change of evolving I think.

And those longlasting friends from online, well there are only few. And they are allmost all girls who are into post-punk scene Romances (or if one seeks one) tend to die if there is no easy way to ever meet IRL. And I know some people have lots of online friends, but I like my online friends like they are here in Gheaven, on an one platform for special kind of wonderfull people:heart:

 

[lhardwick69]

on here its hard to keep talking to each other in a normal conversation--what I do is I use a secondary line on my phone--use it to text messages back and forth this makes conversation better--on here you post a message then its hard to sayhow long it is when get back on to check messages plus youre only allowed 150 messages here-- so that's what I do---so if anyone wants to talk text then the program is called sideline--it costs 3 bucks a month remove ads and it works great its on android and ios iPhone--


so if wanna text and talk about anything everything openly as I hold back nothing I have nothing to hide--just I'm me ask my sideline number and we can text then

 

[wardell]

sorry this is long but I need more advice.

the guy I was talking to has stoped but now a new guy is talking to me he is very attractive but something feels off. to start with he does not want to talk through the site we met on he wanted my email so i gave it. this is what he sent "How are you today? Hope okay,i have been very busy. My job took most of my time,i am into the Sales of Sculptures , Beeds and Golds....Really am attracted to you and write to know you more. Please tell me what you likes and what you dislikes, I love being honesty and attentive at each others good and bad times!I am born in United States and i came out from a good combination of two,my Mom is from Canada while Dad is from United States.I am the one and only child of my parent, i will count it i have a big family because i dont know much about my mum family in Canada while my Dads part is very small...I did not have a good relationship with my mom when she found out that i was a gay. She will not understand how normal and wonderful i feel inside for my love as a gay. I do not even expect her to understand since she is not one!Unfortunately i lost my parents in a car accident, this happened about 8 years ago,since then i have started to live my life by myself and not depending on my family although i still miss my mom because of the courage and advises she use to give to me about life but i am glad i am whom i am today.
I am really interested in wanting to know about what makes you the special person you are today..I want to know more about your family, your background, your life experiences past relationships, your goals and dreams, your interests and anything else you want to tell me.I am not here to talk to you about general things such as partying, the weather,sports, etc. I want to learn about you and what makes up your heart and soul as the friendship i want to build with you will be like no other you have ever shared in or experienced. This friendship i want to build with you will be filled with substance, quality, spirituality and potential.
I look forward to hearing from you soon!."
am I just reading to much in to this or is thats weird for a first message. he ignored every thing I ask in my response and sent this "Thank you so much for getting back in touch with me as it actually made my day!!!, you sound like all i want.Well before i forgot right now i am presently in Kuala lumpur Malaysia for a business trip which will end in five days! I am really going to put a lot of effort into writing this letter to you in hopes it will provide you with a good understanding of who I am, what I am all about, and what has made me the person i am today. The reason i am going to write a letter rather than just send a message is because i am serious about wanting to establish a quality friendship with you and because of the fact i rarely contact anyone on here so when i do you can be rest assured that i am serious about my intentions.
Am looking for a man that will be able to listen to me communicate his feelings to me make me laugh love me make me smile protect me when needed romantic time to time and treat each other right.. I am happy and proud of what i am! What about you? I hope that we will find peace love and care in each other. Talking about crazy things in bed,i love taking time to do the very active of love which is a wonderful gift to us.I hope it works out between us so that i can hold you with my arms one day and then take you to climax the way you never before.. Hot in bed you know, anyway am willing to make it work to the extent I can.
Waiting to know your response. Talk to you later." am i just self-sabotaging. looking for a problem when there is none

 

[lhardwick69]

its only weird if it feels weird to you--don't put much emphasis on wwhat others think--state what you want and if others don't like it don't worry about it--cant go through life worrying about what others think--I used to until it made me sick--

you said you still have your vcard well theres nothing wrong with that--only do it when you are ready--even when time comes and you decide to just do it with anyone so lose it its your decision no one elses

 

[Lamicheval]

Hi, wardell!

I could imagine, it is not the answer you want to hear ... But the first thing I thought, reading your post above, was "... and the next thing he will ask, is for some money, because there is something wrong with his creditcard, ..., or he needs money very urgent for some reason (sick sister, parents, broked down car in a strange country, ...) or such stuff." It reminds me on some articles, where people get similar messages from strangers.

I searched for the known word for these liars on net, it is "Romance Scammer". Please have a look for it. It describes a very rude crime in my opinion. A crime with your feelings. If you think there is something strange or wrong with this guy, mostly there are gangs, not only single persons in these cases, take your feelings seriously, mostly you will be right.

As another idea to check his truth content: You can ask for some pictures of him. If you got some, send them to a picture search and look for the responses. Sometimes such guys uses pictures from net, to give themselves "a face" for their victims, to make it more trustworthy, what they told about themselves.

Again, I think it is not the answer you want to hear, but take a moment to think about it. :big hug:

 

[wardell]

actually that is what i want to hear.l when i first read his email my mind went off like an alarm screaming ALERT,ALERT,ALERT.but i just thought it was me over reacting. i will be on my guard i will not be taken advantage of thank you
hugs

 

[lhardwick69]

don't be taken advantage of--just do what youre willing and ready to do--if he insists tell him get lost

 

[wardell]

here is his new email " i very much appreciated receiving your letter every moment i check my mail. You are a very special person who I SERIOUSLY want to explore the possibility of building a long term friendship with. That is my dream, and I hope to make it come true with you!. In my heart I feel you have all the qualities it takes to make me very happy...
About my past relationship, I have been into 3 relationships and those are also my only sexual partners I have ever had. 2 of my relationships ended because of my partners betrayal and infidelity (cheating) and the other 1 ended because the love was not there to grow. I know this sounds strange to you but as I wrote above I have not been sexually active now for 1 year!!!!. My reasoning which I understand is very strange in today's world, but my belief is my heart and soul and the passion that is in it is very unique and special so I made the decision and made a promise to God that I would not be sexually active for the sake of just wanting sex or to have sex for someone else own self gratification. Knowing the passion that is contained in my heart and soul is very unique. I made the decision to abstain from sex because I want this special gift to be shared with the person I am dedicating the rest of my life with.
In me you are going to find a man that was blessed with an over abundance of passion to give to the ones I share my heart and soul with. For you to really know me you will have to experience me, as the love that makes up my heart is like a waterfall, where the water never stops flowing down. In this case my heart is the waterfall, and the love and passion that flows endlessly is representing the water. I am a very unique person for many reasons, but one of those is the fact that I can never get enough of romancing that special someone.
Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to build this special friendship with you!. You will be rewarded for it through the passionate love that makes up my heart and soul!. I am so excited to be able to do what I do best and that is romance you with all the passion that makes up my heart and soul!. My special friendship with you is something I want to make permanent and eventually build into a family to call our very own!
Directly from my heart to yours!
Your Future man (I hope!)..."

 

[Lamicheval]

I am glad you are not upset or disappointed, to read my opinion. :thumbs up:

In the end, noone here can decide for you, what you are doing next, if you trust him or not. It is like lhardwick69 and others in this thread you already told.

And my own opinion again after this new e-mail from him: For me it would be a bit too fast to swear a stranger ever lasting loyalty and love. It sounds too good, to be true. Like a story in a romance. But if I understand you correctly, you think similar.

So take the way with this stranger, as long as you feel safe and comfortably. You can do this as long as you don't have the feeling, he wants things of you, which you are not ready to give him or to give him at the moment already. Perhaps you can search for forums of victims of romance scammers and talk to them too, what they think about your e-mail partner. :thinking:

Take care of you!

 

[lhardwick69]

I'm here and its sucks we aren't closer as I am a man of my word but don't pay attention to him not relying so much when you want him to--also phones are cheap these days--buy you one on ebay then use wifi on it so don't have to have cell service on it

 

[topdog]

Has he gotten to the part where he is really a Nigerian prince?