Crushed

[XMan101]

A warning for everyone I think. Be very aware of your surroundings.

Being duped is not funny and I dare say a few of us have been.

Thanks for some very good replies

 

[AleXXX UK]

Than let him grow up! Being hot is one thing, but he'll learn fast enough that being cute and dandy isn't the only thing... when he'll be ready to settle he would have built himself a very bad reputation already... and although he'll want to fix it it would be too late. Sometimes they just need to suffer a little bit more.

He works in marketing and his job is to be sexy and cute. He knows how to work the charm. It's how he's wired, it's his character, personality and livelihood. Don't get me wrong, he's not a bad person. He's a silly cutey. I don't think the problem is him, I think the problem is me. I can't control my emotions, my feelings.

He knows how I feel. Today we almost bumped into each other, he's a little petite, he paused millimetres away from me, looked up, locked his gaze, smiled, looked down, said sorry and carried on. On the inside it was like, he was saying 'I'm imagining you fucking me', 'you make me hot', I get all that from his look.

I truly feel he knows exactly how I feel and he feels the same but im holding myself back from making a move. In fact despite everything that has happened and I said, if he came on to me, directly, made his intentions clear, I know I'd drop everything for him. That is despite everything. I feel crazy

So I'd say that you're well positioned to know what game he's playing and thus I have to say let him play... your moment of glory will come but play right and don't be mean or a bully to him. You are 10 years older... show it:cheers:

How dare you?! I'm only 7 years older than him, not old enough to be his dad - unlike you, Mr music teacher!

He knows my bullying is all for show and he loves the attention I give him. He knows when I blank him I'm seeing nothing but him and when I ignore him I'm thinking of nothing but him.

 

[AleXXX UK]

AleXXX:



Now that you've shared this little tidbit about your friend...my advice to you has changed. BE CAREFUL!!! I still think you should be nice and cordial to him and I do believe that he does like you but I fail to think now with this new information that he does not like you the way you like him. He loves the attention that not only you are giving, but everyone else around him. And yes, he is very much aware of your interest in him. With that being said, if anything does evolve from this situation, would probably be just a sexual situation but not boyfriend material. In all honesty, he will hurt you more than what he has done already if you do not keep your guards up with him at all times. I hope I have not caused you any anger with what I am writing, but because I like you, I think I should be honest and have your back.

Something has just kinda hit me. I'm looking at this from my shoes and I'm being a little blinded by my feelings. Ok, totally blinded. I am 100% besotted, fallen, in love with him. Truly madly deeply. If I look at this from the outside it seems very different. I just fight those thoughts and go back to being in love with him. If feels so nice.

I think the best I can hope it is that he doesn't come on to me, stays a little aloof and then I can enjoy my fantasy safely.

Maybe if I show a lack of interest he'll try harder for my attention. He really won't have to try hard at all I can tell you. Just the way he looks at me melts me.

 

[AleXXX UK]

A warning for everyone I think. Be very aware of your surroundings.

Being duped is not funny and I dare say a few of us have been.

Thanks for some very good replies

I read this thinking, whose he talking about? Me? No way? Mines a sweet love story, why wouldn't you be asking me to be strong, hold firm and wait until the time is right to make another move. That's my heart speaking. My head says I'd like to think but my heart had bound and gagged me and locked me in a cupboard.

 

[AleXXX UK]

Hey Jake:

I totally agree with you. In my recent response to this topic, I had mentioned that this guy is not boyfriend material. However, what you've mentioned makes a lot of sense. Let him grow up...he is still in that fascination stage and later on, he will be able to look for something solid. Like you said, he's going to have to go through something in order to wake him up or have is epiphany so to speak before he actually gets it..Great advice, Jake:thumbs up:

You say he's not bf material. I feel he's husband material.

I don't want to wait until he grows up, when he's older, can't pull the attention, has been used, abused and jaded. I love him for who he is now. I don't want him to change, to grow up and be different. I know all I'm asking for is a world of pain.

 

[jw4833]

You say he's not bf material. I feel he's husband material.

I don't want to wait until he grows up, when he's older, can't pull the attention, has been used, abused and jaded. I love him for who he is now. I don't want him to change, to grow up and be different. I know all I'm asking for is a world of pain.

Well, okay...but you know what??? I'll share something with you that I always say to my sister when she gets upset and angry with my drug-addicted brother behavior after he has been so repetitious with it. When you are very much aware of an individual's behavior and yet, there is still an interest in them, then you there should be no complaint against them when they act out because you've made the decision to stand by them. Therefore, if that's the case, then there is no reason to get upset or complain when they get irrational because you already know this about them and the conclusion is to deal with it...:cheers:

 

[hugmebear]

I was in a very similar situation once. Sadly, we avoided each other there after. i wish you the best.

 

[AleXXX UK]

Well, okay...but you know what??? I'll share something with you that I always say to my sister when she gets upset and angry with my drug-addicted brother behavior after he has been so repetitious with it. When you are very much aware of an individual's behavior and yet, there is still an interest in them, then you there should be no complaint against them when they act out because you've made the decision to stand by them. Therefore, if that's the case, then there is no reason to get upset or complain when they get irrational because you already know this about them and the conclusion is to deal with it...:cheers:

You know something? He has been terrible to me and you may have sympathy for me on that but I have been equally if not more terrible to him. We are both as bad as each other. He hurts me. I hurt him. Then he hurts me more and I hurt him so more. What you say about him, I feel he would say about me. In fact I would say that about me too.

 

[AleXXX UK]

So it's Friday.

The end of the week.

Today, C and I got on with business as usual. So now I've stopped being mean. I've been trying to be professional and only talk about work. I'm very conscious of the boundaries and even if I'm not, I try to err on the side of caution. It's been like this all week.

He however is the exact opposite. Always being friendly and informal. He looks at me like a dog looks at a bone. He smiles with his eyes. Every morning he's asking me how my evening was, who I was with and what I was up to. I respond minimally and Change the subject. At one point today we had some success on some small thing and he touched me. He put his hand on my thigh, kept it there a little longer than expected and slowly slid it off looking straight into my eyes.

I have a DSLR that I was asked to bring into work by a colleague. Some marketing guys were taking shots of the office and staff for our website. I didn't want to take any of the pictures myself but they were struggling to handle the device. I agreed to take a few pictures. C wanted to pose for a few shots just as I was asked to take them. So there I was zooming in, asking him to smile and taking those shots. He was posing, smiling, doing the look, doing what he does best, selling himself. I was sold. I wanted to put my arms around him, hold him, smell him. Suddenly everyone decided to call it a day and hit the bar for some drinks. We kinda finished early so I couldn't say no. C kept his distance at first. We all had a few drinks in our groups. I had another. Then another. One by one the rest of the team left. In the end the only two people left were me and C. Was it awkward? Not really. I was drunk. I was looking at him. He was looking at me. My eyes were saying I want you. My posture was saying no way am I going there. I never need to initiate conversation with him, he just jumps right in. So there we were, exactly where it all happened all alone again. A complete rerun. He leans forward, gets close, starts to talk. He looks right into my eyes and for the first time in weeks I look right into his. My glass is empty and I wanna head home but he's gone and returns in an instant with my drink, my usual. It would be so rude and such a waste to not drink it. I like beer, he likes cocktails. I can't remember the conversation exactly but he got closer and closer, all I did was smile, nod, agree. Every part of me wanted to reach forward. He got as close as was reasonable. He didn't blink, neither did I. He wanted to melt me so he just smiled. I closed my eyes. I wanted to let gravity, inertia, whatever you want to call it to take place. Then I opened my eye. He was looking back exactly as I imagined he would be. Nothing was said. I picked up my drink. Gulped it down. Got up, gave him a salute and walked out.

 

[AleXXX UK]

Woo hoo! My 500th just happened and about C! How epic!