There was a point in my life where while being heavily sedated with medication, someone I considered to be a close "straight" friend, had straddled me on my bed, pried my mouth open and poured liquor down my throat on top of the medication that I've taken. After that, he preceded to rape and beat me to a pulp where my life was in critical danger for a little over two years. This guy had left town right after to start a new life in another state. However, I had a friend who had been in my for years, and he stood by me during this time more so than the other friends I have because he dedicated himself to being there for me although he and I had always had chemistry between each other. As time progressed, he and I became lovers...unfortunately, a few years after giving love another chance, he passed away unexpectedly. Although I have those same few friends in my life now, I don't put myself in a relationship situation. I've gotten accustomed to being alone again, and what I've discovered is that after being through an sexually abused incident that was so traumatic, you never open yourself up to anyone totally again, and you are always very cautious of who approaches you or try to get in your personal space, and you are very conscious of your particular surroundings. I thought I was the only one who thought this way and I was really considering going through therapy again because I have met guys, but I do allow them to take things further or to another level because of my trust issues, until I saw the recently out news correspondent, Don Lemon on television who said he goes through the same thing since he had been sexually abused as a teenager. With that being said..I've become accustomed to being alone, and to be quite honest, there have been several guys that have approached me and eventually, I discovered they were full of it or had a boyfriend, and even married with children..so, I'll let nature take its course and when the time is right, or the person, it will happen naturally...