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Guest at the Party
The governor was hosting a Halloween costume party.
All the important people were there, and as they arrived,
the doorman announced what their characters were.
When one couple arrived, he announced "Mickey and Minnie Mouse."
When another couple arrived, he announced, "Tarzan and Jane," and
so on, as each guest arrived.
Later in the evening, a man arrived dressed only in a pair of
underpants. Apart from that, he was totally naked from head to
toe.
After confirming that the man was indeed an invited guest, the
doorman asked, "How shall I announce you?"
The man said, "I'm premature ejaculation."
"I'm very sorry, sir," said the shocked doorman. "I cannot
announce anything like that to such a gathering."
"Okay then," said the man, "Just say I came in my underpants."
The governor was hosting a Halloween costume party.
All the important people were there, and as they arrived,
the doorman announced what their characters were.
When one couple arrived, he announced "Mickey and Minnie Mouse."
When another couple arrived, he announced, "Tarzan and Jane," and
so on, as each guest arrived.
Later in the evening, a man arrived dressed only in a pair of
underpants. Apart from that, he was totally naked from head to
toe.
After confirming that the man was indeed an invited guest, the
doorman asked, "How shall I announce you?"
The man said, "I'm premature ejaculation."
"I'm very sorry, sir," said the shocked doorman. "I cannot
announce anything like that to such a gathering."
"Okay then," said the man, "Just say I came in my underpants."
Cletus and Billy Bob
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere.
Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.
Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the heck're ya doing, Billy Bob?"
"Good Lord, Cletus, ya scared the bejeezers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob.
"But me 'n the Ol' Lady been havin' trouble lately in the bedroom department and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."
[Don't make me come splain this to you!)
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere.
Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.
Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the heck're ya doing, Billy Bob?"
"Good Lord, Cletus, ya scared the bejeezers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob.
"But me 'n the Ol' Lady been havin' trouble lately in the bedroom department and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."
[Don't make me come splain this to you!)
drewguy
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Bobs Story
Bob's Story
Bob, a young journalism graduate from Kentucky, had gone to work for the
New York Times. His first assignment was to write a brief human interest story. An idea came to Bob and he returned to one of the most remote areas he knew of in his home state of Kentucky. Deep in the woods, Bob came upon a farmer's house and decided this would be a good place to start.
He introduced himself to the back country farmer and explained why he was there. The farmer (named Farmer Dick) agreed to answer his questions.
Bob asked farmer Dick what event in his life had made him the happiest?
Farmer Dick replied, "One time a neighbor lost one of his sheep. We all formed a posse and found it. After we all had sex with it, we took it back to the farmer that lost it."
"I can't print that," said Bob the reporter, "Is there another event that
made you really happy?" Farmer Dick thought for a minute and said, "Yep. One time the daughter of another local farmer got lost. She was a good-lookin' young girl.
We all formed a posse and found her. After all of us had sex with her, we took her back to her daddy."
Again Bob knew he couldn't print the story and decided to take a different tack. He asked Farmer Dick, "Is there any event in your life that has made you really sad?"
SCROLL DOWN
Farmer Dick hung his head and replied, "Well, yeah. I got lost once".:rofl:
Bob's Story
Bob, a young journalism graduate from Kentucky, had gone to work for the
New York Times. His first assignment was to write a brief human interest story. An idea came to Bob and he returned to one of the most remote areas he knew of in his home state of Kentucky. Deep in the woods, Bob came upon a farmer's house and decided this would be a good place to start.
He introduced himself to the back country farmer and explained why he was there. The farmer (named Farmer Dick) agreed to answer his questions.
Bob asked farmer Dick what event in his life had made him the happiest?
Farmer Dick replied, "One time a neighbor lost one of his sheep. We all formed a posse and found it. After we all had sex with it, we took it back to the farmer that lost it."
"I can't print that," said Bob the reporter, "Is there another event that
made you really happy?" Farmer Dick thought for a minute and said, "Yep. One time the daughter of another local farmer got lost. She was a good-lookin' young girl.
We all formed a posse and found her. After all of us had sex with her, we took her back to her daddy."
Again Bob knew he couldn't print the story and decided to take a different tack. He asked Farmer Dick, "Is there any event in your life that has made you really sad?"
SCROLL DOWN
Farmer Dick hung his head and replied, "Well, yeah. I got lost once".:rofl:
