Daddy and Boy relationship

[topdog]

I always find daddy-boy-sex extremely arousing. However when somebody a lot younger than I am 'chases' me, mostly he is up to money and it turns me off.

Yeah - the concept is great, but it definitely takes the right two people. I went out on a first date with a 22 year old (I was 50 at the time). Cute guy. We met for coffee on a Sunday morning. At the counter, along with our drinks I bought a NY Times and he bought the Washington Post. (I had already read the Post earlier.)

"This is great!", I said. "We can swap papers and see how they cover the stories differently and compare the Op Ed pages." Mr. Twinky looked at me blankly. "Oh", he said, "I don't read the articles. I just buy the paper for the ads. I have to plan what I am going to buy." :rolling eyes: (There was not a second date.)

But then you have folks like Stephen Sondheim who was openly gay, but seemed destined to be the perennial bachelor. Then at 60 he meets Peter, a college student who comes to interview him. While showing Peter around the property of his county house, Stephen slips and badly twists his ankle. Peter volunteers to stay until Steve's houseman returns on Monday. Well, love blossomed. His friends were a bit shocked, but realized that Steve looked happier than they had ever seen him.

So, go figure.

 

[angelmist]

I have a friend who is in a daddy / boy relationship, he is the boy (23) whose partner is (51), I found the older guy to push my friend around, so I challenged them on it. Turns out in day to day activities the older guy is dominant. But was surprised that my friend the young one, was the top. I was like WOW.

 

[rebornme40]

I have a friend who is in a daddy / boy relationship, he is the boy (23) whose partner is (51), I found the older guy to push my friend around, so I challenged them on it. Turns out in day to day activities the older guy is dominant. But was surprised that my friend the young one, was the top. I was like WOW.

That's quite a turn on

 

[topdog]

I don't know. Maybe. Wouldn't work for me. I don't like relationships based on authority, and from what I've witnessed about that kind of daddy-boy relationships, the younger one is seldom in control of anything.

"Authority" and "control" are two different things - though if you don't like either then you are right, this kind of thing isn't for you. In my experience, a good Daddy / Boy relationship is loving and based on the respect of each person for the other.

The Boy respects the Daddy's knowledge and guidance, but this does not rule out him having his own friends, goals, and accomplishments as a part of his life.

The Daddy loves the boy and looks out for the boy's best interests. He wants the boy to develop into the best person he can be. If that means that he eventually no longer needs his Daddy - so be it. Like a real parent, sometimes a successful Daddy "puts himself out of a job", so to speak.

I met the love of my life when I turned 40, he 22 years my junior. We had 4 wonderful years together.
...I have never been loved like that before or since.Glad to have shared it with him, and yes I believe it could have worked, but at great cost emotionally. I am a lover, not a fighter.

Beautiful example, Duke. I am sorry for your loss, but I respect your love and maturity.

People often confuse Daddy / Son with Master / Slave. True, there is a continuum of authority and these kind of relationships have to find the right balance of control / surrender appropriate for both parties.

But the Slave gives up all control to the master - the thrill is a total letting go, like skydiving. In contrast, the Boy is his own person with his own life, living under the authority of a loving parent - his Daddy.

so how many years apart is it to be workable?

Age is irrelevant. I know Daddies who are younger than their Boys. It's not the age, but the relationship dynamic between the two people. In sex, the Daddy is usually dominant and the son submissve - but the degree varies, and they can switch dom/sub roles - even during the same sex session. Top / Bottom is also irrelevant. Remember, Bottom does not equal sub. A person playing a dominant role is taking charge in any position.

 

[rednaxela]

I get attracted to older guys but I'm too shy to act on them. :|

 

[Behrluvr]

When I was 18, I definitely wanted an older guy. 35, 45 to 50 was red hot to me. I liked hanging with same age friends but I got hot feelings with Daddy types. I had no thoughts of getting paid or anything like that. I just thought they were hunky and hot. I liked thick hairy bods, and authoritative men.

Too bad I was such an innocent twink. Little did I know there were all sorts of guys out there looking for a guy like me. It just never occurred to me that they'd go for me, so I never pursued any.

 

[bijou]

If you are a young guy who is attracted to older men or an older guy who is attracted to young men, all is not doom and gloom--if you're willing to work at bridging the gap(s).
So here is my story:
It was the day after Christmas 1994. I packed up the debris of a 5-year relationship and left for what I thought at the time was a life of limitless loneliness. I began traveling again to get my mind off being alone. Never go to Provincetown with out a b-friend! Anyway, in 1995, I got my first PC and a friend put me onto a gay pen pal site. I love emailing people and learning about how they live so, I sifted through the posts. One caught my attention posted by a guy (age/ethnicity not disclosed). Without getting into details let's just say I was curious. We emailed for about a month before we spoke via phone (5hr conversation). I learned he was Korean-American, university educated, and living over 1000 miles from me. Yikes! We met face-to-face 4 months later. Oh my god, he just a child! Well, no he was 29 (I didn't know). After 1 year of flying to and fro to be together, he moved in with me. 15 years later, we still thrive. Some believed this was a sugar daddy thing, but we were perfectly matched in education and income.

How do we make it work? There are several words that define how we relate.
1) Courtesy--saying please and thank you. I’m always amazed how quickly we sometimes drop, between each other, common niceties we extend to strangers.
2) Admiration--you can't love someone you don't admire in some way.
3) Putting ego in a pocket when it would be easier to argue just to be right.
4) Like--you genuinely have to like one another. If you don't, then it's time to move on.
There are others but I think you get the idea.

Then there is the commitment to the care a feeding the love that must be revisited from time to time. Caution! Relationships are like delicate plants. You can't pull them up to examine the roots to see how things are going. When you are apart, take time to reflect that what you have is fragile and easily overwhelmed by indifference and carelessness. You must guard it. Today I find myself 66yo with a faithful companion a mere 45yo.
Well my dears that my first foray into this forum. I hope I haven’t bored you too much with my ramblings.
Bijou

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

(1) DO you think a relationship between a 18 yo and a 53 year old will work?
(2) Do you find it a daddy-boy relationship sexy?
(3) I am above 40 and i am always attracted to someone below 25.
What do you think?

(4) Sexually should the boy become the bottom?

I am assuming these questions are being asked in all seriousness, so answering one at a time:

(1) Maybe, it depends on the men concerned.
(2) No. Age difference does not bother me, but I hate the obsession with the age difference. If a 20-year-old guy wants to have sex with me, great, but DON'T call me "Daddy", I am not your father.
(3) Good for you, you are not exactly unique in that respect.
(4) There is no such thing as "should", except that everything that happens should be by mutual consent.

 

[diklik]

Too bad I was such an innocent twink. Little did I know there were all sorts of guys out there looking for a guy like me. It just never occurred to me that they'd go for me, so I never pursued any.

Indeed! There are a lot of us older guys out there who have financial and career security, and who simply want to share love and caring devotion with a younger man. It's that way for me, and my partner (of 6 years) is quite a few years my junior. Happily, the love and affection between us has bridged the generational gap, and I am as up-to-date with his spheres of interest as he is respectful of mine.

Initially, the relationship began as one of mentor/mentoree for purposes of helping the younger man with his educational needs and some lifestyle issues. He soon discovered that he preferred my company and intellect to those guys with whom he used to hang out. He moved in for a trial period and we found compatibility. And so it continues.

 

[sacc]

I'm 20. I'm in a relationship with a 49 year old man. It works for us.

There's no authority complex. I tell him what to do as often as he tells me. We obey each other. I think that's a healthy relationship dynamic.

I call him daddy. He calls me son. Not all the time, but just for fun. It's us poking fun at the age difference.

I don't see why people fuss about our age difference. They assume that he's "manipulating" me, when it's not like that at all.

 

[DarkRising71]

I think it will work just fine as long as the relationship is based on something more than just looks and sex. If there is a good base of the relationship, then a relationship of any age width will work. I wouldnt call it a "daddy/boy" relationship because I see that as more of dom/sub relationship.

I'm 40, and I have gone out on actual dates with younger men 18 to 21. Some have worked and been longer term, some havent. Again, just depends on the foundation of the relationship.

Sexually, everyone should be comfortable with their position. If they are not, it wont work.

At least that is my opinion.

 

[tysb9966]

those types of relationships turn me on. as a ynger guy ive been in a couple with guys about 20 years older and from my perspective as long as the other guy is turned on - which they usually are it can be good

 

[BearGut4Yngr]

I've had a number of relationships with younger guys.
Some short term some longer. They ended when it was time.
We still care for and respect each other.

 

[jaxfltop]

Well now that I am over 40 I like that kind of relationship a whole lot more. I prefer the boy to be the bottom too.

 

[NiceGent1]

Like other areas of life, people judge others' lives based on their own perspective. Why should older/younger relationships have more meaning thanything else? What works for each...works, period!

 

[blueway]

I would never say never, personally, i'm 24 and prefer someone no more than 10 years older than me. but hey you never know.. when it's right, it's right and if it is... the age gap won't be a big issue. and no i dont think the younger guy should automatically submit to being a bottom.. versatility is key to a successful relationship i think.. unless you're a total top.. which in that case you should only look for guys who know the are power bottoms.

 

[superglowy]

No. there are rare exceptions but your age determines 'your world' and people with huge age gaps could never REALLY relate to each other.

 

[superglowy]

It's hot to look at in porn tho

 

[Brian2010]

This is an interesting thread. A question for those of you who are in an older-younger relationship:

Do you feel that you have to do things to make the relationship work that you would not have to do if you were dating someone your own age? For example, do the older guys feel that the need to make an extra effort to keep their bodies in shape? Do the younger guys feel the need to read up on some subjects in order to converse with their older partners?

 

[bimyself1]

for me personally no i cannot see myself being wit sum1 out of my age range but if u like it i luv it lol it just wouldn't work for me