When and how was your "Coming Out"?

[XMan101]

Glad the forum is of help to you Trek You will never be lonely here , there are a lot of wonderful members of this forum who will be only too happy to befriend you and help in any way they can.

It might not be the same as a face to face or a hug, but at least it's an avenue you can go down and not feel threatened and who knows maybe one day you might meet one of us !

Please keep posting and get to know a few of the guys

 

[canhcutvl]

I have kept reading this thread for quite a long time:

I'm living in Singapore now (I'm not a Singaporean), yeah, an Asian context. Actually I have come out with 2 persons: a female senior and my close friend. The senior is ok with it, actually everytime I talk abt it, she always tries to encourage me and cheer me up. But that's it, she's so busy and I don't meet her regularly so I can't share my stories much to her. My close friend's case is... I don't know how to say. First he just can't believe it. He react as if I just caught a psycho disease, yeah, something like that. My country, my community is still quite conservative abt this issue: we never talk abt it. I just feel worried that he scared of me, and I feel scared of that. I came back to my home country, but he hasn't contact me and neither have I.

When I read abt loneliness in this thread, I really feel lonely right now.

I just want to have some person to share my feelings, just a hug, a warm hug. I really want to meet, to know some persons physically, not an online "hello" then disappear. It's not just a love, a relationship, but it is actually to see someone to share your same feelings, that you r not the only black sheep frightening looking around only to see white sheeps

Sex, yes, of course I also wish to have it. But even this thing doesn't accept me (I'm not good looking or well-built after all, I am quite fat). I j/o to reduce this urge but after that I only feel empty and really want to cry (but I can't).

PS. English is not my mother-tongue language so it is not good, sorry for any grammar errors

 

[XMan101]

I have kept reading this thread for quite a long time:

I'm living in Singapore now (I'm not a Singaporean), yeah, an Asian context. Actually I have come out with 2 persons: a female senior and my close friend. The senior is ok with it, actually everytime I talk abt it, she always tries to encourage me and cheer me up. But that's it, she's so busy and I don't meet her regularly so I can't share my stories much to her. My close friend's case is... I don't know how to say. First he just can't believe it. He react as if I just caught a psycho disease, yeah, something like that. My country, my community is still quite conservative abt this issue: we never talk abt it. I just feel worried that he scared of me, and I feel scared of that. I came back to my home country, but he hasn't contact me and neither have I.

When I read abt loneliness in this thread, I really feel lonely right now.

I just want to have some person to share my feelings, just a hug, a warm hug. I really want to meet, to know some persons physically, not an online "hello" then disappear. It's not just a love, a relationship, but it is actually to see someone to share your same feelings, that you r not the only black sheep frightening looking around only to see white sheeps

Sex, yes, of course I also wish to have it. But even this thing doesn't accept me (I'm not good looking or well-built after all, I am quite fat). I j/o to reduce this urge but after that I only feel empty and really want to cry (but I can't).

PS. English is not my mother-tongue language so it is not good, sorry for any grammar errors

Hey looks aren't everything you know. It really is personality and a bit of confidence that counts. If you like someone enough you don't give a damn what they look like!! You just know they are your soul-mate or whatever. We don't mostly look like porn stars or models We are all different and it's those "imperfections" that are actually more appealing! Anyone who says different has obviously never lived in the real world!

For a simple example I can tell you that many years ago I met a guy in Portugal who I may never have given more than a passing look to. He happened to be a friend of someone I'd met there, but as we got talking my affections changed towards him and we became (for a very short while) lovers. I went back over just to see him and it was quite passionate

Like a lot in life though it didn't last after that, and being before the internet days it was hard to keep in touch at a distance, but I did fall for him at the time.

So, like I say, be confident in who you are and you will find admirers just about anywhere! If you're confident people pick up on that, and sometimes it's because they lack it and need someone who does!

Don't look too hard, often you find the right guy in the most unlikely place or situation!

Please keep posting here, there are many who will be happy to help

 

[intensepump]

OMG...if i ever come out...Southern Ohio politics will never been the same....lol..

 

[iFairylicious]

lol I just discussed mine lol. On my b-day yesterday and it all went well

 

[iFairylicious]

Seriously if someone comes out it shows you have balls to do something serious because being gay is something that can be broadcasted to the world or told and be kept quiet to some family and friends........I am in the middle of the two! hahahaha

 

[rant17]

Strange, thats exactly my story, but with me, i'm js totally confused i have no idea what to do, but hey, why do people gotta know? I can't totally accept it myself, "what am i" is what i constantly ask myself, as for sexual orientation; i haven't a clue, i can't answer that question, maybe in a few years

 

[ashyboi5000]

My coming out was a tad anti-climax.
Well twice I've had to come out.
First time I had to chose between a girl and guy to "date." I had to explain the situation to the girl, now my best freind, and explained to both if I lost one as a freind I didnt want either of them.
Second time to my uni for the ant-climax. i had been seeing a guy, and supposedly he txted one of my freinds saying something. To make her jealous or something as supposedly she still has a small crush for me. I had no idea how this happened untill one drunken night walking home I was told why the girl was seemed annoyed at me.
I was ready to tell them soon, but wanted to tell them myself, no having the current bf do it by a wayward text message.
then from then onwards there's the few odd poeple I tell, loads of poeple I have as freinds online, or poepel i meet very rarely also know.
Family don't as....well....truth be told if they reject me I couldn't afford to go to university and would prefer to wait till i was financially stable and had a long term bf.

Iam bi btw.

 

[bubbleswallower]

It was Mid-October Evening,

I was just mining my own ways when my father called out then starts to talk about when were going to Central America... another story not important.
He starts talking about this thing (a pact) with an old friend of his that if he and his friend ever had a girl and boy of the same age then they would try to match them to each other in one way or another... >>

I start to think "goodness is this a joke, Match-making plans before I was born"?

and as I was about to open my mouth I the door opens and its my cute little sister (for the time being).
She comes in and then my father starts to ask about her option of the match-making plan with his friend in Central America...

Is says "Dad, Miguel's gay..."
...
...
...

There was emoticon for what I felt that evening.

My father asks my sister to step out.
...
...

And then the big Q..."Miguel is that true?",

"I like boys"
...
...

after the answer he gets a pillow and puts it over is face to cry on it... get out.

So I do and then I walk out of the building as walk out to the streets and to the lights for about a half hour.

I walk around in a complete circle until I see my grandmother and sister looking for me in the sidewalk near the building.

When I walk to them they starts to talk like big hens, "Where were you", "What were you thinking?"

I start walking to the building and then I see that he's there as well, then goes back in to talk some more with grandmother.

"I want to die", he says.

and I'm just so angry at him for crying like a baby.

The next day he tells mother and then she questions me as well. She thinks it's because I'm virgin. He even tries to set me up with a prostitute...
but I say no, it would be a waste of your money.

It's been a long while now and they seem to not can about me being gay, I hope.

Thanks for reading. =D

 

[XMan101]

Good account, Bubble. Hope everything is smooth for you now. That first step is always the hardest, often things do work out in the end

 

[ItalyzBalla145]

Never

 

[Mavi]

Good stories guys, thanks for sharing them. I'm closeted and always ponder weather i should come out and to whom. I've had a very normal life, no one even suspects me of being gay, I don't have any gay friends or know of anyone that is gay.. I don't know how my friends will react... and if they take it the wrong way then i will have no friends... I have 2 very close friends that accept gay people, maybe I should tell them.

So far i haven't had a problem being in the closet... but I'm at that point where girls want to date and i keep having to reject.. so i dont know what to do!

thanks for reading.

 

[goejavin]

Well, Mavi...there is no rush...dont do anything that jeopardizes your "normal" life. Take it all in stride....you're young and you still have the power to reject girls without suspicion if thats what you need to do. The time will come, if you so choose, to reveal yourself. But make sure its on your terms and when you are ready. There is much support in this group so dont hesitate to reach out to any of us.

Good luck buddy....you have many friends here.

 

[XMan101]

Quite agree with GoeJoe there, Mavi Don't ever feel pressured inside to have to do anything.

Despite having friends that are very accepting they don't know YOU have feelings that way and although they wouldn't be prejudiced they might just take it bad that you hadn't trusted them earlier. I'm not saying they would, but it can happen.

It's odd, having been "gay" for years for all intents & purposes, when I got a girlfriend again after many years (although to be honest, however cute they are I doubt I will again ) I seemed to loose a lot of gay friends who had trouble understanding my liking for girls. I'd never mentioned it and didn't even think about it really, But it happened and I'm sure that's why some drifted away. Didn't worry me, most were not all that close anyway. My long time friends have always been most important and are still around.

Anyway, just a thought to consider. Just take your time, you'll know when that time to tell is right

 

[Blushed]

Buah, my father read my diary, and then he was pissed off, took away my cellphone and cut the internet wire, drove me to school and back for a couple of months.
Ah well, at least I didn't have to walk to school every day (it was a really cold winter)

Later he kinda accepted it, my mother as well, so they've decided to ignore the facts. Fine with me

 

[bubbleswallower]

Good idea...

Buah, my father read my diary, and then he was pissed off, took away my cellphone and cut the internet wire, drove me to school and back for a couple of months.
Ah well, at least I didn't have to walk to school every day (it was a really cold winter)

Later he kinda accepted it, my mother as well, so they've decided to ignore the facts. Fine with me

===

Let them stay in their own little world,
that way they stay hopelessly happy...

 

[XMan101]

Buah, my father read my diary, and then he was pissed off, took away my cellphone and cut the internet wire, drove me to school and back for a couple of months.
Ah well, at least I didn't have to walk to school every day (it was a really cold winter)

Later he kinda accepted it, my mother as well, so they've decided to ignore the facts. Fine with me

I hate hearing things like that , I've heard worse over time, but parents have to give in in the end. Effectively locking someone up can't last forever!

 

[bubbleswallower]

Totally...!

Good account, Bubble. Hope everything is smooth for you now. That first step is always the hardest, often things do work out in the end

===

I think so too,
but I would love to commute with some older more informed men who can show and teach me some of the things that our fellow gay men have fought for so that I can really get a grasp on what they didn't have but because of them we do. :x

 

[glamfunk84]

I always look at it like this, first person I come face to face about that is myself in terms of my sexuality, then I'll wait until later to just open up. I'm at that point where if I even tell it, it's "everybody's business". I have people in my family that like to gossip about other family members and be very disrespectful. People who are your relatives will go online and see something and act as if you shitted on the carpet when you tell them about your sexuality. Coming out especially in the black community is tough enough when people just don't understand it and don't even care too. So I don't think you can never come out too late, ya feel me?

 

[kyleovision]

I came out to my mother when I was 18. To my father, a year later (they were divorced).

Mom's reaction: [Scoff] Oh, you dont know what you are. This is not something Im going to discuss with you.

Dad's reaction: [Laughs] Good lord, when you said you had something important to tell me, I swear, I almost said, 'hey youre not gonna tell me youre queer or something, are ya? [Laughs] Lucky I didnt say that, huh?"

Within a year thereafter, my mother's husband announced I was not allowed to visit any more. My father stopped contributing to my college expenses and I became estranged from my family. Dad died in 1995; I hadnt spoken to him in almost 10 years. Mom died in 2001; I hadnt spoken to her in nearly 15 years.

Their loss.