Call Me By Your Name
I finally got around to watching this movie after having rented it twice before. The previous times I
wanted to watch it, but when I was in the mood for a movie I didn't want to sit for a romance.
5 Stars in the book for sure. But this is one of those movies that makes you question society. I'm not going to give any spoilers, but the whole movie is about the love between Elio and Oliver. The way that it questions society is because Elio is 17, and thought they don't say it in the movie, I'm guessing Oliver is somewhere in his late 20s to early 30s.
Society, at least in the U.S., has a huge hangup about relationships of this type. Is it wrong? Is Elio old enough to consent to the relationship, when, I think, the movie did a good job of depicting their relationship in a very good way. Elio was discovering himself, learning about love, and had true feelings for Oliver by the way that they ended the movie. I never got the feeling the Oliver was trying to have an inappropriate relationship with Elio.
Everything we have in life is able to be taught to us by those that are older, with more experience. Math, History, Politics, Economics, How to Build a Deck, or Making the Perfect Lasagna. But when it comes to love society tends to let everyone fend for themselves. Sure, we have Sex Education of a sort in school that teaches abstinence, what different parts of the penis are, and why it takes nine months to make a baby. But none of that is going to teach you about love.
I remember my high school days when guys or girls would say that they are in "love" with their boyfriend or girlfriend, but for the guys it seemed more about that they were able to have sex with their girlfriend.
I hear all the time about people wanting their kids to have "healthy" relationships with their significant other, but nobody has taught them how to have one. In just a short two hour period for this movie, I think it did a lot to show how to have a healthy relationship. I think Elio is going to be able to look back on that summer later on in life when he has a partner, or maybe children of his own, and tell them how he learned about love.
It takes a special kind of person, like Oliver, to have a meaningful relationship with someone like Elio and not let it become obtuse. I've known men like that in my lifetime and those that end up with them are probably going to be for the better.
I watched another movie today called "The Way Way Back" that, though it didn't have any of the sexual feelings or hints of relationships, was another movie that proves that adults can have positive influences on us in the younger generations without the sense that we are all being molested.
If you haven't noticed in recent years, society is pretty well fucked up and not looking to get any better in the near future. We need more adult friends, mentors, and lovers so as we grow up we can understand life and love better than just being tossed to the wolves. "Call Me By Your Name" did a beautiful job at showing just that.